How to Create a High Protocol BDSM Contract (with Template)

Introduction
Entering a high protocol BDSM dynamic is like choreographing an intimate dance of power and surrender. It might sound counterintuitive, but putting your unique choreography into words – in the form of a BDSM contract – can heighten trust, clarity, and even erotic anticipation between partners. A contract in this context isn’t about legal enforcement; it’s about communication and mutual understanding. In fact, BDSM contracts have no legal teeth – you cannot sign away the right to revoke consent, and any contract for sexual services wouldn’t hold up in court. Instead, think of the contract as a relationship agreement or an intimate pact. It’s a document two (or more) consenting adults create to outline their roles, rules, and boundaries. This clarity is especially vital in high protocol dynamics where expectations are more formalized and detailed than in casual arrangements. By writing down your agreements, everyone knows exactly what they’re getting into and what to expect, reducing the risk of accidental boundary violations.

Before we dive in, a quick legal disclaimer: A BDSM contract is not a legally binding contract – it’s a personal agreement built on trust. You can call it a slave contract, submissive contract, or Master/slave agreement; regardless of the name, its purpose is the same. It serves as a clear, consensual understanding between partners, outlining everything from roles and responsibilities to hard limits and protocols. In other words, it’s a tool for relationship clarity and communication, not a way to waive rights or enforce laws.

Finally, keep in mind that a high protocol contract should reflect your unique dynamic. As we’ve discussed in our guide to high protocol rules, these arrangements often involve more rigid etiquette and rituals than “low protocol” relationships. However, what matters most is that the contract fits the people involved. In the sections below, we’ll explore what BDSM contracts are, why they matter in high protocol settings, and how to create one that is both comprehensive and deeply personal. Let’s turn the formal agreement into an opportunity for deeper connection.

I. Understanding BDSM Contracts

At its core, a BDSM contract is a written agreement between a Dominant and a submissive (or whichever roles you identify with) that spells out the terms of your relationship. Think of it as the blueprint of your power exchange. It can be as simple or detailed as you need, but common themes include the roles each person will play, the rules of behavior, the limits (both “hard” and “soft” limits), and the consequences if rules are broken.

Why have a contract? Especially in high protocol BDSM, contracts serve multiple purposes. First, they formalize the consent that is foundational to any kink dynamic. By explicitly stating what each party consents to (and what they do not consent to), both Dominant and submissive can proceed with confidence that they’re on the same page. This reduces ambiguity – no more guessing if a certain act or rule is “okay” or not, since you’ve both written it down. Second, the process of creating a contract encourages deep communication. You’ll discuss desires, fears, expectations, and boundaries in detail as you draft the agreement. Many find that this level of openness brings them closer, strengthening the trust that’s so essential in BDSM play.

In the realm of high protocol dynamics, these contracts take on an almost ritual significance. High protocol refers to a style of BDSM relationship with strict etiquette and formal rules dictating the submissive’s behavior. For example, a submissive in a high protocol arrangement might be expected to always address their Dominant as “Sir” or “Ma’am,” to perform specific rituals like kneeling or presenting at set times, and to follow detailed rules of conduct at home and in public. Because the expectations are so high and specific, having a written contract helps ensure nothing important is overlooked or misunderstood. It’s easy to romanticize the idea of a Master/slave contract (perhaps you’ve seen dramatic versions in fiction), but real BDSM contracts are grounded in mutual respect. As kink educator “derspiny” notes, the point is not punishment or entrapment – it’s to negotiate clearly what each person wants and needs, so the relationship can proceed safely and satisfyingly for both.

Types of BDSM contracts: Contracts can vary in scope and duration. Some couples prefer a temporary contract – for example, a 3-month trial contract to see how the dynamic feels, often used for a training period (more on that later). Others enter a permanent or long-term contract, sometimes tied to a collaring ceremony or other commitment symbol. Neither is “better” than the other; what matters is that it suits your situation. A temporary contract might be renewed or upgraded later, whereas a permanent contract still should include review clauses (since relationships evolve). Also, not all BDSM relationships use written contracts at all. They’re more common in high protocol or 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationships, where the structure is a big part of the appeal. If your dynamic is more casual or low protocol, a less formal agreement (even a verbal one or a simple checklist) might suffice. Choose the format that best supports communication in your relationship.

To sum up this section: A BDSM contract is a communication tool that brings clarity to a power exchange. It outlines the “who, what, when, where, and how” of your dynamic – who you both are in these roles, what you each expect, when or how long the arrangement lasts, where it applies (private vs. public), and how you’ll conduct yourselves. It’s born from consent and aimed at keeping both partners safe, respected, and satisfied. Now let’s break down the key pieces that go into this important document.

II. Essential Contract Components

Every BDSM contract is unique, but most high protocol contracts cover a similar set of essential components that you can assemble and customize to fit your relationship. Think of these as the building blocks for your agreement. Below are the key sections and what they typically include:

• Parties Involved: This is the basic info – who is this contract between? You’ll list the names (real or scene names) of the Dominant(s) and submissive(s) entering the agreement. Many contracts also define the roles here. For example: “This contract is between ____(Dominant) and ____(submissive), collectively referred to as Master and slave in this document.” By clearly identifying the parties and their roles, you set the stage for everything that follows.

• Purpose or Preamble: High protocol contracts often begin with a brief statement of intent. This might read like a devotion or mission statement for your dynamic. For instance, a contract preamble might say, “The submissive offers themselves in service to the Dominant to foster mutual growth, trust, and fulfillment in a 24/7 power exchange. The Dominant accepts responsibility for the submissive’s well-being and training, and together they agree to the following terms…” Such a section isn’t strictly required, but it can be a heartfelt way to align on why you’re doing this in the first place. It sets a tone of respect and care. (Some real contracts have very flowery language here, others keep it straightforward – choose what resonates for you.)

• Roles and Responsibilities: Clearly defining what is expected of each person prevents a lot of confusion. In a high protocol scenario, the Dominant’s responsibilities might include things like: providing guidance and training to the submissive, ensuring the submissive’s safety (physical and emotional), administering discipline when necessary, and respecting any limits agreed upon. The submissive’s responsibilities often include: obedience to the Dominant’s commands, honesty and transparency (e.g. answering any of the Dominant’s questions truthfully), and a general commitment to follow the rules and protocols set by the Dominant. This section can also cover specific duties – for example, the Dominant might be responsible for all financial decisions while the submissive must maintain the household to certain standards, if that’s part of your arrangement. One important thing: even in an unequal power dynamic, the contract should acknowledge that both sides have duties. It’s not only “sub must do XYZ”; it’s also “Dom will do ABC (like provide training, feedback, aftercare, etc.).” In fact, many contracts explicitly state the Dominant’s obligation to care for the submissive’s well-being and safety, acknowledging that the power exchange is a two-way street. This mutual understanding reinforces trust – the submissive isn’t the only one bound by promises; the Dominant is also accountable for creating a safe container for the dynamic.

• Duration of the Contract: Here you specify how long the contract lasts and if/when it will be reviewed or renewed. For example, you might agree that the contract is valid for 6 months, or 1 year, or “until we decide to modify or terminate it.” High protocol relationships often set an initial duration (say 3 or 6 months) as a trial period, especially if it’s the first contract between those partners. At the end of that period, you schedule a formal review to discuss how things are going (more on that in the Negotiation section). Some contracts automatically renew if not actively terminated, but it’s still wise to have periodic check-ins. Including a duration clause ensures that the dynamic is actively maintained – it gives you both an opportunity to revisit the terms as trust deepens and circumstances change. Regular reviews (monthly, quarterly, annually) can be written into the contract so that you make time to sit and discuss the relationship.

• Rules and Protocols: This is the heart of a high protocol contract. It details the specific rules the submissive (and sometimes the Dominant) agree to follow. Rules can cover a vast range of topics: daily routines, communication etiquette, dress code, behavior around other people, and more. For instance, common high protocol rules include how the submissive must address the Dominant (titles like Sir, Madam, Master, Mistress, etc., perhaps using third-person speech in formal situations), greeting protocols (maybe the submissive must kneel and present a collar each evening, or ask permission to enter the Dominant’s presence), and service tasks (such as preparing the Dominant’s coffee each morning in a specified way). We’ll dedicate a full section to examples of rules and protocols, so consider this an overview for now. Essentially, this section translates your power exchange values into concrete behaviors. It’s a good idea to write rules clearly and even bullet-point them for easy reference. Keep them realistic – as tempting as a 128-rule list might be, remember that both of you are human (with jobs, families, etc.), and overly rigid rules can backfire. It’s better to have a few meaningful rules that can be consistently followed than to copy a fantasy list that’s unsustainable (one seasoned slave even joked that all those exhaustive “Basic Slave Rules” could just be boiled down to one guiding principle: “Do as your Master says, or leave the dynamic.”). Use the contract to articulate the rules that truly matter to you both.

• Limits and Boundaries: This is one of the most crucial components. Here, you list the submissive’s hard limits and soft limits, as well as any limits the Dominant has. Hard limits are activities or boundaries that are absolutely off-limits – no negotiation, no try-out, just a firm “no.” Soft limits are those the person is hesitant about or willing to approach carefully (perhaps with extra conditions or only after trust is stronger). Writing these out ensures that everyone is aware of the lines that must not be crossed. For example, a contract might state that “Needle play, blood play, and degrading language are hard limits for the submissive,” or “The submissive retains the right to refuse any sexual activity without punishment – this is a hard limit around consensual non-consent.” By explicitly stating limits, you not only protect the submissive, but you also give the Dominant clear guidance. It’s a sign of trust: “I trust you enough to tell you my deepest boundaries, and I trust you to honor them.” This section can also include any phobias, trauma triggers, or health issues that need accommodation (for instance, if the submissive has panic triggers around confinement, or if the Dominant has a bad back and can’t do heavy impact – these should be known so the dynamic can be safe for both). Remember, consent in BDSM is ongoing and enthusiastic; the limits section underscores that by drawing a clear perimeter for play.

• Safewords and Signals: In a BDSM relationship, especially one that might involve intense scenes or training, having a way for the submissive to stop or slow down the action is non-negotiable. This part of the contract specifies the safeword(s) you’ll use. Many use the classic “traffic light” system: “Yellow” to mean “I’m nearing my limit, please ease up or check in,” and “Red” to mean “Stop immediately.” You can choose any words, but make sure they aren’t likely to come up in normal play talk (for example, “Red” is good because you’re unlikely to accidentally say it; “Stop” is not a great safeword in roleplay because a sub might say “stop” as part of a consensual struggle scenario). Also consider non-verbal signals for situations where the submissive can’t speak – like holding a particular object that can be dropped, snapping fingers, or using a clicker. The contract should note these: e.g. “Safeword is ‘Mercy.’ Sub will also hold a ball in hand during gagged scenes and drop it to indicate a full stop.” By writing this in, both parties affirm their commitment to honor the safeword without question or hesitation. It’s also a reminder that consent can be withdrawn at any time, contract or no contract. In high protocol dynamics, using a safeword is never “failure” – it’s an expected safety valve. Including it in the contract helps normalize it.

• Protocols for Daily Life: In a high protocol contract, you may have a sub-section detailing expected behaviors in daily life, distinguishing between private vs. public protocols. For example, you might write that in private, the submissive will always kneel and ask permission before getting into bed, but in public the protocol softens to a subtle gesture (like the sub saying “Do you need anything, Sir?” when they actually mean “May I be excused?”). High protocol doesn’t necessarily mean 24/7 rigid obedience in front of the outside world – most couples find a balance. Your contract can clarify these nuances: “When alone or among kink-aware friends, the full set of protocols apply. In vanilla public settings (work, family gatherings), the protocol is lowered: the sub will still be respectful but will not call the Dom ‘Master’ or kneel, etc.” Setting these expectations prevents awkward moments and ensures both partners are comfortable with how far the dynamic extends socially. It can also cover things like whether the submissive wears a symbol of ownership in public (a collar that might be obvious vs. a subtle necklace or ring) – some contracts specify a piece of jewelry or a token the sub must always wear, which is a protocol in itself.

• Punishments and Consequences: While the focus of any BDSM agreement should be on consent and mutual pleasure, many high protocol dynamics do incorporate a discipline aspect. This section outlines how rule-breaking or disobedience will be handled. It is vital that punishments remain within the bounds of consent and safety. In the contract, you might list acceptable punishment methods (e.g. spanking, writing lines, loss of certain privileges, kneeling in timeout, etc.) and explicitly forbid any forms of punishment that are unsafe or non-consensual. For instance, "The Dominant may use physical punishment such as hand-spanking up to 10 strikes, paddle up to 5 strikes, or corner time up to 15 minutes. Punishments will not involve any hard limit activities or permanent harm. The submissive has the right to use the safeword during punishment, upon which the scene will stop and the issue will be discussed." This clarity ensures that both of you know the difference between funishment - a playful "punishment" that the submissive finds arousing and a real disciplinary action, and that even discipline stays consensual. Also consider including something about reward if that’s part of your style – e.g., “The Dominant may reward good behavior with praise, orgasms, special outings, etc., as positive reinforcement.” The tone of this section should be agreed on: some dynamics enjoy a strict tone (“The slave shall be subject to the Master’s discipline…”), others keep it pragmatic (“Any breach of contract will be discussed and an appropriate consequence agreed upon…”). Write it in a way that fits your dynamic’s flavor, but always anchored in the idea that the goal of any consequence is to correct behavior and reinforce the dynamic – not to genuinely harm or alienate the partner.

• Privacy and Confidentiality: If relevant, include notes on privacy. Some high protocol couples are very private about their lifestyle and might include, for example, a clause that “Both parties agree to keep the nature of their BDSM relationship confidential from others, except agreed-upon friends or communities.” Or if you’re open about it, you might specify that as well. This section can also cover whether the sub can talk about their training or issues with others (sometimes Dominants prefer to handle problems within the dynamic first). Since trust is paramount, it helps to spell out expectations on confidentiality – especially important if you’re writing about each other in an online forum, sharing photos, etc. For instance, “No recordings of scenes will be shared publicly without mutual consent” could be in a contract to ensure privacy.

• Termination Clause: Every contract should explain how it can end. This might feel unromantic, but it’s necessary. Clearly state that either party can terminate the contract at any time. In a loving high protocol dynamic, you might have an understanding that it won’t be done lightly, but nonetheless, it must be possible. You can describe a process if you want – for example, requiring a final discussion or a written notice of intent to end the dynamic – but you cannot actually lock someone in against their will, and your contract should acknowledge that reality. Often, termination clauses also address amicable separation: promising to take care of any needs that arise from ending the relationship (like a debrief, a period of reduced protocol to transition out, returning personal items like a collar, etc.). A sample termination clause might be: “Either the Dominant or submissive may end this contract at any time. Ideally, they will communicate their reasons and have a closure conversation. The collar (if worn) will be removed. No punitive actions shall be taken by either party after termination, and both agree to respect each other’s privacy moving forward.” In high protocol relationships, ending a contract can be emotional (it might feel akin to a breakup or a revoked title), so having a respectful exit plan written down can actually be reassuring. It reminds you both that consent and care come first, even if the D/s aspect ends.

• Signatures and Date: Finally, most BDSM contracts conclude with a place for everyone to sign and date. Signing a BDSM contract together can be a powerful ritual on its own. It symbolizes commitment and seriousness. Some couples make the signing into a little ceremony – perhaps the submissive kneels and signs, then the Dominant signs, and maybe there’s the giving of a collar or a kiss to “seal” it. Remember, the signatures are symbolic, not legal. But they do mark the official start of what you’ve agreed. By putting pen to paper, you’re both saying “I understand and accept these terms.” It’s a profound moment of consensual exchange. Tip: Keep a copy of the contract in a safe but accessible place (maybe each gets a copy, or you keep one where you do scenes). It should be easy to refer to if questions arise. And it can be a living document – you can always jot notes for things to change at the next review.

These components cover the basics of a solid BDSM contract. In a high protocol context, you’ll likely flesh each section out with a fair amount of detail. The contract can be as long or short as needed – some are a single page, others span multiple pages with appendices for specialized protocols or training logs. The guiding principle is clarity. Both of you should finish reading it and feel confident you know what is expected and promised on each side. Next, let’s talk about how to actually negotiate and create this contract together – because it’s not a solo project for the Dominant or the submissive, but truly a joint effort.

III. Negotiating Your Contract

Creating a high protocol BDSM contract isn’t about one person unilaterally dictating terms; it’s a collaborative negotiation process from start to finish. In fact, the negotiation itself can be an incredibly intimate and trust-building experience. You’re essentially laying your soul (and fantasies) on the table and seeing how they can interlock with your partner’s. Here’s how to approach negotiating your contract:

Start with an open conversation. Before any writing happens, sit down together in a comfortable setting and just talk. Good old-fashioned communication is Step 1. Share your desires: What does the ideal Dominant/submissive dynamic look like to you? Share your limits and fears: What are you absolutely not okay with? What are you nervous about but maybe curious to try eventually? Talk about practical life stuff too: schedules, living arrangements, other commitments – a contract has to mesh with real life. Some people find it useful to individually jot down a “wishlist” or use a BDSM checklist (those yes/no/maybe lists) before this conversation, so they don’t forget any points. In this discussion, nothing is too trivial to bring up. If it matters to you (“I would feel safer if we had a safeword check-in every month” or “I really want protocols around meal times”), say it. You might be surprised – what seems obvious to one might not be to the other until it’s spoken. Make sure both of you get equal time to express hopes and concerns. This sets a precedent: even in a power-imbalanced relationship, your voices are equal during negotiation. A high protocol dynamic thrives on a strong foundation of trust and understanding established during these early talks.

Discuss “training goals” and expectations. In a high protocol arrangement, often the Dominant has certain training objectives for the submissive – and the submissive might have personal growth goals too. Negotiation is the time to align those. For example, the Dominant might say, “I’d like to train you to confidently perform a formal tea service for me,” or “One goal is to have you proficient in all positions from the Gorean BDSM positions list.” The submissive might express, “I want to learn to be more punctual and disciplined in my routines,” or “I’m hoping this dynamic helps me explore my submissive side deeply, including perhaps trying mild pain play which I’ve been shy about.” By identifying these goals, you can build them into the contract’s rules or training plan. It’s also okay if the goal is simply, “We want to build a fulfilling 24/7 lifestyle together.” Goals give your contract a direction – a sense of progression. They also inform what kind of protocols and rules make sense. If a training goal is improving the submissive’s posture and grace, you might negotiate a rule that the sub will attend a weekly yoga class or practice walking with a book on their head at home as part of their assignments. If a goal is to deepen emotional trust, you might include a ritual of nightly check-ins or diary writing that you review together. Essentially, negotiation should cover not only what you’ll do, but why – what purpose do the rules serve and how do they benefit the dynamic.

Compromise and find consensus. It’s very unlikely that two people’s lists will match up 100%. There will be things one wants that the other is unsure about. Treat the negotiation like a delicate dance of give-and-take. If the Dominant strongly desires a certain protocol that the submissive finds challenging, talk about why it’s important and see if there’s a tweak that can make it acceptable. For instance, maybe the Dom wants the sub to always speak in third person (e.g., “This slave is grateful, Master.”). The sub might worry this will be too mentally taxing or sound silly after a while. A compromise could be: use third person only during designated “high protocol nights” or scenes, but not 24/7. Or perhaps a behavior modification goal is in play – say the Dominant wishes the submissive to overcome a bad habit or develop a new skill. That should be negotiated with empathy: behavior change takes time, and the contract could outline steps rather than an instant expected change. Remember, a contract isn’t a dictatorship, it’s an agreement. If you cannot reach consensus on a point, that point probably shouldn’t go into the contract as a rule. It might instead go on a “to be discussed later” list. It’s better to start with what you both enthusiastically agree on (yes, enthusiastic consent applies here too!) and leave very contentious ideas for future renegotiation.

Be specific, but stay flexible. As you hash out terms, try to be clear in your language (“The submissive will wear a leather collar at all times when at home” is better than “sub should usually wear a collar”). But also acknowledge that life happens. A high protocol contract doesn’t mean there’s zero flexibility – it means you have a framework within which you agree to operate. During negotiation, discuss what happens if someone can’t uphold a rule. For example, if the contract says the sub will visit the Dom once a month (like in a long-distance arrangement) but then the sub gets sick or there’s a work emergency – obviously reality trumps the rule. The contract might include a clause for that scenario (like, “If an appointed visit must be skipped due to unforeseen circumstances, it will be rescheduled as soon as possible, and no punishment will occur as long as it’s communicated”). Talking through these “what if” cases during negotiation ensures that both of you have reasonable expectations. High protocol doesn’t mean inhuman perfection; it means dedicated consistency, with understanding that you’re both adults with other obligations.

Set a regular review or trial period. Negotiation doesn’t end once you sign the contract. It’s an ongoing process. In fact, the initial contract can be seen as a living document or a draft that you’ll refine over time. It’s wise to build in a review period. For example, agree that “in one month, we’ll check in and see how these rules are working for both of us,” and then perhaps at three months, six months, etc. These are times either of you can say, “This particular rule isn’t really working as intended, shall we adjust it?” or “I think I’m ready to try a stricter protocol here, can we add it?” Regular check-ins can be as formal or informal as you like – some couples literally schedule a sit-down meeting, others just talk over dinner about it. The key is to keep communication channels open. Knowing there’s a planned review can also take pressure off; if something isn’t perfect, you don’t feel trapped, because you’ve agreed you’ll revisit it. If you’re brand new to this, you might even explicitly label the first contract a “training contract” or trial contract (e.g., three-month training period) after which a more permanent contract will be negotiated. This approach acknowledges that negotiation continues as trust deepens. In a way, the contract itself can evolve as your relationship evolves.

During negotiation, be mindful of each other’s emotional states. It’s normal for such deep conversations to stir up vulnerability, excitement, and even anxiety. Take breaks if needed. Some couples negotiate over multiple sessions – tackling a few sections each day – rather than marathon it in one go. There’s no rush. And yes, negotiation can be sexy too! Don’t be afraid to flirt a bit in the process (“Oh, you’d really like me to serve you in that outfit? Interesting… tell me more, Sir.”). It can help diffuse tension and remind you both why you’re doing this – because it turns you on, fulfills you, and bonds you.

To wrap up: Approach contract negotiation in the spirit of partnership. Even though one of you may be the Master/Mistress and one the slave, at the negotiation table you are equals and allies, crafting something that will serve you both. Be thorough, honest, and patient. By the end of a good negotiation, you’ll likely feel incredibly connected – you’ve learned so much about each other’s inner worlds. That mutual understanding is going to be the cornerstone of your high protocol dynamic once the contract is in effect.

IV. Rules & Protocols Section

One of the most distinctive parts of any high protocol BDSM contract is the detailed Rules & Protocols section. This is where you get into the nitty-gritty of how the submissive is expected to behave and how the Dominant will maintain structure. If the previous sections are the “what” and “why,” consider this the “how” – it’s a manual for your day-to-day D/s life. Let’s explore what kinds of rules and protocols you might include, especially for a 24/7 or lifestyle high protocol arrangement, and give some vivid examples.

Daily Rituals and Etiquette: High protocol often means peppering the day with rituals that reinforce the power exchange. For instance, a common rule is that the submissive must greet the Dominant in a specific way each morning and night. This could be as simple as sending a “Good morning, Sir” text if you’re apart, or physically kneeling by the bed and saying a prescribed phrase if you live together. Some couples have a rule that the sub presents the Dominant with a cup of coffee or tea each morning, kneeling and offering it with bowed head. Another daily protocol might be structured meal etiquette – perhaps the sub waits for the Dominant to take the first bite at dinner, or the sub must ask permission to eat certain things. One erotic but subtle ritual could be the submissive wearing a particular item each day (e.g., a plug, a piece of jewelry, or the Dominant’s initial on their undergarments) as a reminder of their role – the contract can specify this, like a rule: “The submissive will wear the leather collar at home and a discreet day collar (necklace) whenever leaving the house without the Dominant.” Consistency in these little rituals helps the submissive stay in the right mindset of obedience and service, and it continually reaffirms the dynamic for both parties.

Obedience and Behavior Rules: These are the rules that govern how the submissive should conduct themselves generally. Examples:

• Forms of address: As mentioned, perhaps the submissive always calls the Dominant “Master,” “Mistress,” “Sir,” “Ma’am,” etc., and refers to themselves in third person or as “your slave” during certain times. E.g., “Submissive shall address Dominant as ‘Sir’ at all times when in private or in kink settings. In public (vanilla settings), the submissive will use the Dominant’s first name but still maintain respectful tone.”

• Speech protocols: Maybe the submissive has rules like not speaking unless spoken to during specific high protocol times, or always responding with “Yes, Sir” instead of just “yeah.” Some high protocol rules include speaking in a polite manner, not raising their voice, or even asking permission for things like using furniture (“May I sit, Sir?”).

• Posture and Position Training: High protocol often involves training the sub in specific positions – for example, a kneeling position for waiting, a posture for standing by the Dominant’s side, etc. A rule might list these positions (sometimes numbered or named, like “Position 1: kneel with knees apart, hands on thighs, eyes down”). The contract can include that “The submissive will assume Position One whenever the Dominant enters the room, unless given other instruction.” Position training is practically a staple in high protocol because it combines obedience with a visual display of submission. It’s the kind of thing a Dom might list as a rule: “Sub will learn and perform the following positions on command: Presenting, Standing Await, Inspection, Collaring position, etc.”

• Movement and gesture rules: For instance, “The submissive will walk half a step behind and to the Dominant’s left when in high protocol mode in public,” or “The submissive will not sit at the table until the Dominant has given permission.” These little behavioral rules echo old-fashioned etiquette and can be quite thrilling for both. Another example: some subs are forbidden to make eye contact unless allowed, so a rule could be “The submissive will keep their eyes lowered in the Dominant’s presence unless the Dominant lifts their chin or says they may look up.” (This one is definitely high-intensity and not for everyone, but it illustrates the level of detail possible.)

• Service rules: If the dynamic is service-oriented, outline the chores or services expected. For example, “The submissive will maintain the household: cleaning, laundry, meal prep, with a daily chore list agreed upon. The sub will complete these tasks before engaging in personal leisure, unless granted an exception.” Or if it’s more specific: “Every Sunday, the submissive will polish the Dominant’s boots and lay out clothing for Monday.” Service rules underline that the submissive’s role is to make the Dominant’s life smoother or more pleasurable. They can also include personal care rules like grooming: “The submissive will keep their body groomed according to the Dominant’s preferences (e.g., shaved or specific hairstyle) and will seek approval for any significant changes (haircuts, new piercings, etc.).”

• Conduct with others: High protocol might dictate how a sub interacts with other people. For example, some contracts specify that the sub must get permission to play with or even speak to other Dominants. Or if you’re in a community: “At lifestyle events, the submissive will behave with decorum, not bratting or interrupting. The submissive will address other Dominants as Sir/Ma’am unless told otherwise, and will not refuse reasonable requests from them without checking with their own Dominant.” (This is only if you have a community protocol scene; not everyone does this). Important: If others are involved (like you allow your sub to serve friends or you have a poly situation), make sure the contract clarifies consent boundaries there too.

Examples of High Protocol Rules: To illustrate, here’s a short list of sample rules one might see in a high protocol contract:

• “Submissive shall maintain a daily journal of her thoughts, feelings, and activities related to our D/s dynamic. She will submit this journal to the Dominant every Sunday night for review.” – This is a reflection rule to ensure communication.

• “Submissive will wear an ankle cuff under her clothes whenever she is at work or away from Dominant, as a reminder of her submission. Upon returning home, she will present herself at the door, kneel, and wait for Dominant’s greeting before she speaks.” – A mix of an attire rule and a greeting ritual.

• “Submissive is not allowed to orgasm without permission. She may pleasure herself only on days the Dominant grants explicit permission and following any conditions given.” – A common erotic control rule. If orgasm control is part of your dynamic, spell it out.

• “The safe word ‘Red’ will be respected at all times. If the submissive says ‘Red’, the Dominant stops all actions immediately. No punishment will ever be given for using a safeword.” – A rule that even though it’s safety related, it’s good to have as a line item to reaffirm it.

• “Submissive will address the Dominant as Master when in private and will speak in third person (e.g., ‘this girl’ instead of ‘I’) during high protocol evenings or whenever the command ‘High Protocol’ is given. During normal daily life or around vanilla company, the submissive may speak normally but will still uphold respectful tone and manner.” – This kind of rule allows toggling between high protocol mode and a normal mode, which many couples do to avoid burnout or awkwardness in public.

• “Punishments: For minor infractions (e.g., failing to complete a chore), the Dominant may assign writing lines or give a fixed number of spanks. For serious infractions (e.g., deliberate defiance), a formal punishment will be given such as extended restriction (loss of privileges) or a harder impact session, but always discussed after to ensure it’s understood and consensual.” – This might appear in a rules section or a separate punishment section, but it’s an example of codifying how misbehavior is handled, emphasizing it's corrective not abusive.

Rewards and Positive Reinforcement: Don’t forget, protocols aren’t only about catching what’s “wrong.” High protocol can also include rewarding good behavior or progress. While not every contract explicitly lists rewards, you can negotiate some if that appeals. Maybe “If the submissive performs exceptionally for a month, the Dominant will grant a treat of the submissive’s choosing (within reason)” – could be a spa day, a new toy, a fun outing, etc. Or even within the power dynamic, reward could be an extra orgasm, a night off from rules (a “free pass” evening), or a special privilege like being allowed to sleep in the Dominant’s bed (if normally they sleep elsewhere). Such rewards can motivate and also show that the Dominant appreciates the submissive’s efforts.

Adapting Protocols to Setting: A well-crafted ruleset will consider context. For instance, a rule might have an addendum: “When vanillas (non-BDSM folks) are present, protocol will be in low-key mode: the sub will not use titles, but will still defer politely.” Or “During family visits, the contract protocols (like nudity or kneeling) are suspended entirely for practicality, aside from basic respect and courtesy.” This way, the submissive isn’t stuck in an awkward bind if real-life scenarios conflict with rules. High protocol doesn’t mean you embarrass yourselves in front of Grandma at Thanksgiving – unless you both agreed to keep dynamic 24/7 no matter who’s around, which is rare and tricky. Most find a way to scale protocols up or down appropriately.

Enforcement of Rules: It’s one thing to list rules, another to keep them up. A contract alone won’t enforce itself; the Dominant must be committed to holding the submissive accountable, and the submissive must be genuinely striving to obey. Some people include in the contract a note like, “Both parties agree to uphold the protocols; failure to enforce or follow will be addressed at weekly check-ins without anger or blame, but as points to improve.” This acknowledges that slip-ups might happen, and that the Dominant has a responsibility too: consistency. If a rule isn’t working or isn’t enforced, perhaps it needs revision – and that’s okay. Like Kinglizard (a long-time Master) wrote, “Nearly any rule or protocol is subject to discussion and negotiation… I will never punish you for breaking a rule we haven’t established and agreed upon.”. In other words, enforcement should be fair and only for known rules. The contract, by listing them, helps avoid any “I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to do that!” moments.

Crafting the rules and protocols section can be one of the most creative parts of writing your BDSM contract. It’s where your fantasies meet reality – you design the little power-exchange moments that will recur day after day. Aim for a balance between erotic excitement and feasibility. Ideally, your rules make you both feel more connected – the Dominant feels respected and in control, the submissive feels guided and purposeful – rather than feeling like a chore list. When done right, even doing a mundane task like cleaning can feel imbued with meaning (“I’m doing this because it’s in our contract that I keep the kitchen spotless as an act of service, and that makes me proud”). The submissive’s obedience and the Dominant’s leadership come to life through these protocols.

As a final note on rules: Keep communicating. If a particular rule consistently causes friction or confusion, talk about it outside of a punishment scenario. A contract isn’t set in stone like the Ten Commandments; it’s a living agreement. Adjust as needed to keep your dynamic healthy. And celebrate your successes! When you realize, “Hey, we’ve kept to our morning ritual perfectly for a month,” acknowledge that achievement together. These protocols are meant to deepen your bond – they are tools for intimacy as much as for discipline.

V. Training & Progression

High protocol BDSM often has an element of training – the Dominant teaching or conditioning the submissive in certain skills, behaviors, or habits over time. This section of the contract (and of your journey) is about how the submissive will progress from their starting point to a deeper level of submission or proficiency. It’s an exciting process, and the contract can serve as a roadmap for it.

Training Period: Many couples establish a formal training period contract before a more permanent contract. During this phase, the rules and protocols might be introduced gradually rather than all at once. The idea is similar to a probation period at a new job, but in a much more intimate context. For example, your contract might state: “For the first 3 months (training period), the following core rules will be in place and new rules may be added incrementally as the submissive adapts. Full high protocol mode will be reserved for weekends initially, then increased as training progresses.” By doing this, you allow the submissive to ease into the role and not get overwhelmed. The Dominant can assess what the sub excels at and where they need more guidance. A training period also gives both parties an out if it turns out the dynamic isn’t fitting well – it’s understood that at the end of training, you either proceed to a longer-term commitment or part ways or renegotiate the arrangement.

Training Goals and Skills: Earlier, you hopefully discussed mutual goals during negotiation. In the contract, you can outline specific training objectives. These can be practical skills (e.g., training the sub in proper protocol for formal dinners, how to serve tea or wine correctly, learning rope bondage safety if the sub is to assist in scenes, etc.), physical endurance (like training to hold positions for longer, improving pain tolerance gradually), or psychological (like training to address the Dominant with certain language until it becomes second nature, or behavior modification like reducing the habit of interrupting). One example: if part of your high protocol dynamic involves positions, you could have a goal like “Within two months, the submissive will memorize and be able to gracefully perform the 5 basic service positions.” Or if it’s a slave training scenario, “The submissive will learn to present an entire day’s schedule to the Master each morning and stick to it, demonstrating time management and devotion.” By stating these goals, you both have a sense of progression – it’s not submission for submission’s sake, but you’re working towards mastery of certain aspects.

Assignments and Homework: A fun way to implement training is through assignments. The Dominant might give the submissive weekly or daily tasks aimed at building skills. For instance, journaling daily (as mentioned) is a common assignment to build introspection and accountability. Others might be reading assignments (many Dominants have a library of resources; they might ask the sub to read a chapter of a BDSM guide or a relevant blog and write their thoughts). There could be physical training like “Practice kneeling with a straight back for 10 minutes every day” or “Recite your mantra in the mirror every morning 5 times.” Some even use position training flashcards or drills – e.g., randomly the Dominant might call out a position number and the sub has to get into it correctly; if not, practice continues. The contract can mention these: “The submissive will dedicate at least 30 minutes each day to training activities assigned by the Dominant.” It can also outline any protocol classes or external training – say, if you plan to attend workshops or have another experienced person teach something (with consent of all).

Behavior Modification: High protocol can sometimes involve the Dominant actively shaping the submissive’s behavior and habits. If this is part of your dynamic, the contract might note specific behaviors to encourage or eliminate. For example, if a sub tends to swear and the Dominant wants a more polite demeanor, a training rule could be “The submissive will be trained to eliminate profanity from her speech. Each time she slips, the Dominant will apply a mild corrective action (like a tap on the lips or a brief verbal reprimand).” Over time, ideally, the submissive internalizes the preferred behavior. Another common one is punctuality: “The submissive will learn to be punctual by arriving 5 minutes early to all scheduled times with the Dominant. Lateness will result in added training drills (such as standing in the corner to reflect on time management).” The contract provides the framework for these modifications by listing them as goals or rules, and thus both acknowledge that these changes are undertaken consensually, not imposed out-of-the-blue.

Advancement Criteria: How do you know when training is “complete” or when the submissive is ready for more responsibility? It can be motivating to define some criteria. Maybe, “After three months, if the submissive has successfully followed the daily protocols with no major infractions, she will be considered for a permanent collar.” Or “Upon mastering all assigned positions and receiving a satisfactory evaluation from the Dominant, the submissive’s training period will end and a new contract will be drafted to reflect her status as fully trained.” These kinds of milestones give both of you something to strive for. For the Dominant, it’s a reminder to actually evaluate and acknowledge the sub’s progress. For the submissive, it’s a clear target to aim at. Some dynamics even have levels or phases (like a “novice, apprentice, adept” kind of progression or using collar stages: training collar, consideration collar, formal collar). If that resonates, lay out what each stage means in terms of time and expectations. E.g., “Stage 1 (Month 1-2): sub will learn basics, has a temporary collar. Stage 2 (Month 3-6): more independence given to sub to perform protocols without prompting. Stage 3: formal collaring and full assumption of high protocol duties.” It doesn’t have to be that formal, but you get the idea.

Support During Training: Training can be intense, especially in a high protocol setting. The contract (or at least your discussions around it) should address how the submissive will be supported through this process. Remember that training is not a one-way street; the Dominant must invest time and patience to teach and guide. The submissive is investing effort and trust to learn and adapt. Acknowledge things like “The Dominant will provide feedback in a constructive manner” or “Regular aftercare and check-ins will be provided after challenging training sessions to ensure the submissive’s emotional well-being”. Emotional and mental safety are as important as physical safety. The Kaycie Crossley article on evolving D/s contracts wisely notes including emotional/psychological considerations like check-in questions or reflection journals as part of the process. Training isn’t about breaking someone down; it’s about building them (and the relationship) up.

Example – A Training Timeline: Let’s illustrate a hypothetical progression:

• Month 1: Focus on basic obedience and communication. The sub learns to use titles, practices asking permission for simple things, and keeps a nightly journal. Dom and sub review the journal together weekly. Many rules are in effect only during certain hours to let the sub adjust (say, only evenings and weekends are high protocol). The sub might receive a “training collar” (perhaps a simple leather collar) to mark the beginning of training.

• Month 2: Introduce more protocols: perhaps the sub now must follow a morning routine (like texting the Dom upon waking with a status report or doing a morning mantra). Start position training with 2 basic positions. If impact play or other BDSM skills are part of it, this might be when you do introductory sessions to gauge comfort.

• Month 3: Increase difficulty. Maybe now high protocol is expected whenever the couple is together, not just specific times. Add remaining positions. Have the sub plan and execute a formal service (like a special dinner) to test skills learned. This could be the “final exam” of training.

• End of Month 3: Sit down for a major review. Discuss what’s working and what’s not. If all went well and both are happy, maybe this is when a collaring ceremony happens and a longer-term contract is signed, graduating the sub from “trainee” to whatever title you use (collared slave, owned submissive, etc.). If more work is needed, maybe extend the training contract a bit or adjust goals.

The above is just an example; real life will vary. The key is to use the concept of training to create a sense of growth rather than overwhelming the submissive on day one with 100 expectations. By layering protocols gradually, you set the submissive up for success, which in turn pleases the Dominant. It’s a positive feedback loop: as the sub improves and flourishes under the structure, the Dom feels their investment is paying off, and the sub feels encouraged to go further.

Total Power Exchange (TPE) and Advanced Training: In some high protocol relationships, particularly those aiming for 24/7 TPE, training can be quite comprehensive. A TPE means the Dominant has authority over nearly all aspects of the submissive’s life (within consensual bounds). Training in such dynamics might extend to things like controlling finances (teaching the sub to budget as per the Dom’s directives), controlling the sub’s social interactions or schedule (the sub learns to consult the Dom on all plans), even elements of personal development like education or career (some Masters guide their slaves in career moves or studies as part of “life leadership”). If that’s your cup of tea, ensure the contract lays out which areas the Dominant will actively direct and which remain the sub’s autonomy. For example, “The Master will manage all household finances; the slave will be trained in bookkeeping to report expenses and will have an allowance determined by Master.” Or “The slave shall seek Master’s approval for any new tattoos or body modifications, and as training will design a tattoo that symbolizes her submission for Master’s eventual approval.” These specifics can border on the extreme end, so only include what you both are truly on board with. An advanced BDSM contract might even have appendices for different facets of training – one for domestic service, one for sexual service, one for etiquette, etc., each with detailed protocols. This modular approach can help organize a very complex arrangement.

Finally, always be prepared to adjust training pace. Some subs thrive under strict conditions quickly; others need a slower approach. Some days will be harder than others. The Dominant should remain observant: if the sub seems burned out or overly stressed, it might be time to dial back or give a day off from protocol (a “free day” to mentally recharge). Conversely, if the sub is breezing through and craving more challenge, you can ramp up faster or introduce new tasks to keep it engaging. Training is a dynamic, fluid part of your journey.

In summary, the training and progression aspect of a high protocol contract transforms it from a static rulebook into a developmental journey. It emphasizes that this is a relationship that grows. The submissive isn’t expected to be the perfect high-protocol slave on day one – they are becoming one through dedication and guidance. The Dominant isn’t just an enforcer of rules but a mentor and teacher. When both embrace these roles, training becomes a very beautiful expression of trust. Over time, you’ll likely look back and be amazed at how far you’ve both come since the contract’s inception – and that’s the reward of weaving training into your high protocol lifestyle.

VI. Sample Contract Templates

Now that we’ve covered all the theory and components, let’s look at how a BDSM contract actually comes together in practice. Below are outlines for a few sample contract templates to illustrate different styles of high protocol agreements. You can use these as inspiration or even as a starting point for writing your own. Remember to customize any template to your needs – every dynamic is unique, and a template is just a framework.

A. Basic High Protocol Contract Template

This template is for those who want a structured D/s agreement that covers all the bases, but in a straightforward way. It’s ideal for a couple starting out with high protocol or who prefer a concise contract.

• Title & Introduction:
  “This Contract of Dominance/submission (D/s) is entered into between ___ (the Dominant) and ___ (the Submissive) as of ___(date). The purpose of this contract is to formalize a consensual power exchange relationship. The parties acknowledge that this agreement is not legally binding, but is an expression of their mutual desires, roles, and expectations in their BDSM dynamic.”

• Roles & Responsibilities:

  • Dominant’s Role: The Dominant (Master/Mistress ___) agrees to lead, protect, and nurture the D/s relationship. They will provide training, set rules, and ensure the Submissive’s safety and well-being. They accept the authority to discipline within the limits of this contract and pledge to do so responsibly and respectfully.

  • Submissive’s Role: The Submissive (slave ___) agrees to respectfully submit to the Dominant’s authority. They will strive to obey rules and perform duties to the best of their ability, and will communicate openly, including using safewords when necessary. The Submissive places trust in the Dominant’s guidance and agrees to uphold the terms outlined herein.

• Duration:
  “This contract is effective from the date signed and will remain in effect for ___ (e.g., 6 months). At the end of this term, the parties will meet to review, renew, or modify the contract. Both parties agree to conduct periodic check-ins (e.g., monthly) to discuss the state of the dynamic and any adjustments needed.”

• Limits:
  Hard Limits: (List here – e.g., no blood, no scat, no involving others without consent, no permanent marks, etc. Both parties’ hard limits can be listed.)
  Soft Limits: (List here – things that require caution or only if discussed – e.g., blindfolding might be a soft limit, or humiliation language might be limited.)
  “Both Dominant and Submissive agree to honor these limits unconditionally. These lists can be updated by mutual agreement as trust grows, and any new limit that arises will be respected immediately.”

• Safewords:
  “The agreed safewords are “Yellow” to slow down or signal discomfort, and “Red” to immediately stop any activity. The Submissive can use these words at any time and the Dominant will respond without question or hesitation. If the Submissive is unable to speak, a non-verbal safesign (e.g., dropping an object the Submissive is holding, snapping fingers, or tapping 3 times) will serve as ‘Red’. Use of safeword or safesign will not be punished and will lead to immediate check-in.”

• Rules & Protocols: (A concise list of key rules)

  1. Communication: Submissive will send a morning text and an evening text every day to the Dominant when apart, to check in. Honesty is expected at all times; the Submissive will not hide important information or emotions.

  2. Titles and Etiquette: In private, Submissive addresses Dominant as “Master.” In public, Submissive will use the Dominant’s name but maintain respectful language. The Submissive will say “Yes, Sir/Ma’am” for affirmation in private settings. No profanity is to be used by the Submissive without permission.

  3. Daily Rituals: Each night, before bed, the Submissive will kneel by the Dominant’s chair and ask, “How may I serve you tomorrow, Master?” This is a moment to plan any service or tasks for the next day and for the Dominant to give feedback for the day. Each morning, if together, the Submissive greets by kneeling and kissing the Dominant’s hand.

  4. Chores/Service Duties: The Submissive is responsible for maintaining the household: keeping living areas clean, cooking dinner on weekdays, and preparing coffee every morning. The Submissive will also lay out the Dominant’s clothes for work each day. (Adjust these to whatever fits your lives.)

  5. Personal Presentation: The Submissive will maintain their appearance as per the Dominant’s preferences. Currently agreed: Submissive will keep hair at shoulder length or longer, will be clean-shaven in pubic area, and will wear clothing chosen or approved by Dominant when at home. Outside, the Submissive will wear a discreet day collar (necklace) at all times as a symbol of this dynamic.

  6. Behavior: The Submissive will not raise their voice to the Dominant or show disrespect. The Submissive will ask permission for significant actions that affect both (e.g., spending over $100, inviting guests to the home, etc.). The Dominant in turn will listen to the Submissive’s needs or concerns raised in private and will not dismiss the Submissive’s feelings.

  7. Punishments: If the Submissive breaks a rule or fails in duties, the Dominant may enforce a punishment. Acceptable punishments (pre-agreed): writing lines, loss of bedtime privilege (Sub misses sleeping next to Dom for a night), or a spanking not exceeding 10 strokes with hand or paddle. Unacceptable punishments: anything that violates hard limits, any action that would jeopardize the Sub’s health or job or family relationships. All punishments will be followed by a discussion/aftercare to reaffirm trust. The goal is to correct behavior, not to harm.

  8. Rewards: The Dominant may reward good behavior or achievements. Current agreed rewards include: granting orgasm (if usually controlled), taking Submissive out for a special date night, verbal praise in front of friends, or small gifts. The Dominant will make an effort to acknowledge the Submissive’s positive contributions regularly.

• Training & Progression:
  “The first 8 weeks of this contract will be a training period. Initially, not all rules may be enforced 100% as the Submissive adjusts. The Dominant will introduce protocols gradually: e.g., Positions training (3 basic positions) will start in Week 1, with additional positions added by Week 4. By Week 8, the goal is full adherence to all daily rituals and protocols. Both parties will review progress at Week 4 and Week 8. If all goes well, the contract will continue as normal after Week 8, possibly with amendments to add any new rules agreed upon. If there are serious issues, they will be addressed and the contract may be modified accordingly rather than terminated outright (unless issues violate trust or consent).”

• Privacy Clause:
  “This contract and the dynamic it represents are to be kept private between the parties and trusted confidants. Both agree not to expose the other’s identity or details of the BDSM activities to others without consent. (Exceptions can be made for discussions with mentors or community support, as long as anonymity is maintained.) Photos or recordings of scenes will only be made or shared with explicit mutual consent.”

• Termination:
  “Either party may terminate this contract at any time. Ideally, they will discuss their reasons in a calm manner. If the Submissive feels unsafe or the Dominant feels the arrangement is untenable, either can say ‘I need to end this.’ Upon termination, any physical symbols of the dynamic (collar, etc.) will be returned to the Dominant, and both agree to treat each other with respect and care during the separation process. If desired, a closing ritual or final communication can be held to ensure closure. Both parties acknowledge that consent is ongoing and can be withdrawn; no person is ever truly bound to continue if they choose not to.”

• Signatures:
  __________________ (Dominant) Date: _______
__________________ (Submissive) Date: _______
  (Often a contract signing is done together. Some even have a third party witness or notarize it, not for legality but for ceremony. That’s optional.)

That’s a basic template covering lots of ground but in a moderate amount of detail. Notice it’s formal but still acknowledges reality (check-ins, flexibility in training period, etc.). You could easily expand each bullet with more specifics if needed.

B. 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) Contract Example

A 24/7 TPE contract is typically more intensive and exhaustive, reflecting that the Dominant’s authority extends over virtually all aspects of the submissive’s life. This is often used in Master/slave relationships where high protocol is the norm, not the exception. Here’s what such a contract might include beyond the basics:

In addition to everything in the basic template, a TPE contract might have sections like:

• Authority: A clear statement that the submissive voluntarily gives total control to the Dominant in all areas agreed upon. For example: “The slave yields mind, body, and soul to the Master’s guidance. The Master’s word is final in all matters, though He pledges to exercise this authority with due respect and care for the slave’s welfare.” This kind of language is intense but common in TPE contracts. It underscores the deep surrender involved. However, even here, it should be followed by reaffirmations of safety and consensuality (like Master will not inflict serious harm, etc.).

• Detailed Protocol Appendices: A TPE contract often breaks down rules into categories, each potentially as an appendix or annex. For example:

  • Appendix A: General Rules of Conduct – covering general obedience, availability (perhaps “slave is available to Master at any time, barring work/family emergencies”), communication expectations, etc.

  • Appendix B: Specific Protocols and Rituals – outlining all the daily rituals, positions, language, etc., in detail. This is where you might list each formal protocol (like how to serve dinner, how to enter a room, greetings, etc.).

  • Appendix C: Training & Development – describing the training program, phases, and any goals or assignments in detail (could also list any mentors or resources if used).

  • Appendix D: Discipline – a thorough list of infractions and preset punishment options. For instance, some TPE couples almost codify a “law system” like, “If slave speaks out of turn, punishment is 5 strokes cane; if slave forgets a task, punishment is writing apology,” etc. It doesn’t mean it can’t be adjusted, but it sets expectations clearly.

  • Appendix E: Maintenance & Self-Care – interestingly, some include things like, “slave will maintain a healthy diet and exercise routine as directed by Master” and “Master will ensure slave gets at least 7 hours of sleep except during special training scenarios.” This acknowledges that in TPE, the Dom even guides the sub’s self-care, but also must ensure the sub’s well-being (because the sub isn’t making some decisions autonomously).

  These appendices mirror the one we saw in that sample training contract – having them can make a long contract more organized.

• Property and Financial Clauses: In some extreme TPE cases, contracts state that the sub is the property of the Dom. While purely symbolic legally, the contract might say, “Slave is the property of Master [Name]. All of slave’s possessions (income, assets) are henceforth at Master’s disposal.” This is very advanced and requires incredible trust – not recommended unless you both are absolutely sure, and even then you might keep actual finances separate for safety. But in fantasy and some reality, couples do this. At minimum, you could have: “The slave will consult the Master on any financial expenditure beyond $X. The Master may assume control of the household finances if agreed later.” If you have shared accounts or the Dom gives an allowance, outline that. Also, if the Dom covers all expenses, etc. Basically, treat it like a domestic arrangement specification.

• Public Behavior: Because high protocol can bleed into public life, TPE contracts often clarify what the sub must do in presence of others. For example, if attending a fetish event, perhaps the sub must follow high protocol rules of the house. Or if the Dom says a subtle gesture (like snapping fingers) means the sub should go into a specific posture even in a vanilla public space, that might be detailed. However, most TPE dynamics still maintain a “code-switch” for public to avoid issues; they just have it very well-defined when to switch. If there are third-party relationships (like the sub has a vanilla job and boss), note that the sub is allowed to do what’s needed to function normally there, as long as it doesn’t break core commitments.

• Emergency Protocols: A comprehensive contract might outline what happens in emergencies. For instance, “If the Master is unavailable or incapacitated, the slave may make decisions necessary for safety (e.g., medical emergencies).” And vice versa, “If the slave has a personal crisis (family death, etc.), protocol may be relaxed at Master’s discretion to allow focus on that.” These are thoughtful additions that show you care about each other beyond just roles.

• Ceremony and Symbols: TPE contracts often coincide with a formal ceremony (like a collaring ceremony, which is akin to a wedding in BDSM culture). The contract might mention the collar: “The slave will wear the collar presented by Master at all times as a symbol of her status, unless removal is necessary for discretion or safety (e.g., airport security, family visits). Removal of the collar by Master signifies release from this contract.” It could also mention any other symbols (rings, bracelets, tattoos even). Some slaves get a permanent mark (like a tattoo or branding) – if that’s agreed, the contract should detail the plan and consent for that, including when and what design.

Given the intensity, a 24/7 TPE contract can be several pages long. It reads almost like a lifestyle manual. While that might seem overkill, for the people in it, it offers a profound sense of purpose and clarity. If you looked at a sample advanced contract (like one by Michelle Fegatofi or others), you’d see similar sections ensuring nothing is left ambiguous. The idea is to pre-negotiate as much as possible so that daily life flows within understood boundaries, ironically creating more freedom to play deeply because the structure is solid.

C. Training Period Contract Sample

We discussed training earlier, and perhaps you want a short-term contract specifically for that phase. This is useful for new relationships or when trying a high protocol dynamic for the first time. Here’s a brief example of how a training contract might be structured:

• Title: “Training Contract between Master X and Trainee Y.” (Using a title like trainee or apprentice can signal this is a trial phase.)

• Term: “This training contract is valid for a period of 3 months (___ to ___). At the end of this period, the dynamic will be evaluated. If both parties wish to continue, a longer-term contract will be established. If not, the relationship will either end or revert to a less formal arrangement without fault.”

• Purpose: “The purpose of this training period is to allow the Dominant to train the Submissive in high protocol practices and to allow both to assess compatibility in a 24/7 D/s dynamic. It provides structure while being time-bound to ensure regular evaluation.”

• Basic Roles: (As usual, define roles, but maybe emphasize learning: e.g., “The Dominant will take on the role of Teacher and Guide, imparting knowledge of protocols and correcting the Submissive’s behavior as needed. The Submissive agrees to adopt the role of student/trainee, approaching tasks with earnest effort and receptiveness to guidance.”)

• Focus Areas: “During training, the focus will be on the following areas: 1) Obedience and Following Commands, 2) Mastering daily service routines, 3) Learning protocols for formal events (if applicable), 4) Communication and emotional resilience (including handling of discipline), 5) Identifying any unforeseen limits or issues that arise.” By listing these, you outline the curriculum, so to speak.

• Rules (Modified for Training): You may include a scaled-down set of rules. For example, maybe not every rule from the full contract yet, only core ones. “The Submissive will follow all instructions from the Dominant, with the exception of any that conflict with hard limits or safety. Initially, the Submissive will practice speaking in third person only during designated ‘Protocol Training Sessions’ (like an hour each evening) rather than all day, to acclimate. The Submissive will keep a nightly training journal detailing her thoughts on the day’s training, which will be reviewed together weekly. The Dominant will provide feedback and assign new tasks each week as appropriate.” So you emphasize practice rather than immediate full compliance with dozens of rules.

• Check-in Schedule: “Weekly on Sunday evenings, both will discuss the training progress. This is a time for the Submissive to voice any concerns or difficulties and for the Dominant to adjust the training plan if needed. After 6 weeks, a mid-term review will be conducted to decide if any parts of training need more focus or if the dynamic needs any changes.” Frequent check-ins are crucial in training contracts because things can change fast as someone adapts.

• Evaluation Criteria: “The following criteria will be used to evaluate the success of training at the end of 3 months:

  • Submissive’s willingness and ability to follow established protocols (has basic obedience improved? Are rituals being performed reliably without instruction?).

  • Both parties’ emotional satisfaction (does the Submissive feel fulfilled and safe? Does the Dominant feel respected and in control, without undue stress?).

  • Trust level (any breaches of trust or, conversely, notable strengthening of trust).

  • Feedback from any trial high protocol scenarios (e.g., attending a play party in protocol, did it go well?).
    Based on these factors, the parties will mutually decide whether to proceed to a permanent contract.”

• Limitations during Training: It might note that some aspects are not included in training. For example, “No total financial control will be exercised during training – the Submissive will manage her own finances but may be asked to report expenses as a trust exercise.” Or “No permanent marks (tattoos/brands) will be applied during training – those would only be considered in a permanent contract if at all.” This way, you keep some boundaries since training is trial.

• Optional Graduation: Some training contracts include a line like, “Upon successful completion of training, the Submissive may be offered a consideration collar or permanent collar, and the role title may change from ‘trainee’ to ‘slave.’” It gives that sense of achievement to look forward to. Also maybe mention if there’s a small celebration or ritual planned – like some do a ceremony for the end of training.

• Termination Clause: Because it’s short-term, you might simplify: “Either party can terminate this training contract early if they feel the dynamic is incompatible or unsafe. No justification is needed beyond a respectful notification. If terminated early, both agree to part amicably.” This is basically a safety hatch if it just doesn’t work out – no one should feel obliged to stick 3 months if it’s miserable or harmful. Training is a trial; you can quit the trial.

This training contract approach is helpful because it explicitly frames the D/s relationship as something developing. It can reduce pressure (“we’re going to try these rules and see”) and it also gives the submissive a way to agree to intense things knowing there’s a near checkpoint (like, “Okay, I’ll try addressing you as Master daily for 3 months, and if I really hate it, I know we can discuss or stop at the end”). It also helps the Dominant in planning the sub’s learning curve.

Downloadable Templates

Many resources provide BDSM contract templates in PDF or Word form. We've prepared a few for you:

• Basic High Protocol Contract (PDF) – a fill-in-the-blank style document based on the template above, which you can download and customize.

• 24/7 TPE Contract (PDF) – a more exhaustive template for those ready to dive into a total power exchange, including appendices for detailed rules.

• Training Contract (PDF) – a short-term contract form that you can use for a trial period or training phase.

Whether you write it from scratch or use a template, filling out a contract together can actually be a lot of fun. Some couples even make a date night of it – pour some wine, get comfy, and go through the sections line by line, discussing and finalizing. It doesn’t have to be dry or overly stern; you can laugh about wording, debate terms, and enjoy the process of co-creating your own rulebook for love and kink.

Conclusion

Drafting a high protocol BDSM contract is as much about the journey as the destination. In the process of writing one, you’ll likely communicate more openly than many “vanilla” couples ever do about their relationship. You’ll articulate your needs, boundaries, and dreams with a clarity that can feel profoundly bonding. The contract you create – whether it’s a single page or a small novel with appendices – becomes a touchstone for your dynamic, a handwritten (or typed) testament to the trust and vision you share.

A few closing points to remember:

Keep it Dynamic: A contract is not a one-and-done deal; it’s a living document. Relationships evolve – you might discover new kinks to include, or realize some rules aren’t serving their purpose. Make it a habit to review your contract periodically. This could be every few months or annually, or whenever a significant life change happens. Think of these reviews as “tune-ups” for your relationship. Maybe on your contract anniversary, you sit down and say, “What should we tweak?” Perhaps the training phase is long over and you can remove those clauses, or you want to add a new protocol that excites you both. Regular review keeps the contract relevant and effective. It also prevents you from feeling trapped by outdated rules – instead, you both acknowledge that growth is ongoing.

Prioritize Consent and Well-Being: High protocol, with all its formalities, can look intense from the outside. But from the inside, it should feel deeply nurturing for both of you. The structure and rules are there to enhance your connection and erotic energy, not to diminish the submissive or inflate the Dominant’s ego at the other’s expense. Always remember the core of BDSM: Safe, Sane, Consensual (or Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, whichever mantra you follow). If something in the contract isn’t working – maybe a rule is causing emotional distress or real-life friction – address it. The contract should serve you, not the other way around. Use your safewords; have those honest meta-conversations outside of D/s roles when needed. The quality of your erotic power exchange relies on the quality of communication and empathy you maintain_. A contract doesn’t replace continuous communication; it complements it.

Balance Protocol and Intimacy: High protocol contracts can sometimes make a relationship feel like it’s all about rules and performance. But within that, don’t lose sight of the love, care, or affection that fuels your desire to engage in this style of relationship. Protocols and rituals should ultimately bring you closer. For example, a ritual of the submissive massaging the Dominant’s feet each night isn’t just service – it’s also a quiet time together, a wordless expression of care on both sides (one relaxes, one gives comfort). A rule that the sub must confess any negative feelings each Sunday ensures little resentments don’t fester – thus increasing emotional intimacy. In other words, let the contract be a framework that holds a loving (or lustful!) relationship, not a cold document of rules. You can be strict and loving; formal and playful. Many high protocol couples have moments of laughter and sweetness within the structure – and you should! It’s your dynamic, after all.

Resources and Continuous Learning: If this is new to you, keep educating yourselves. Contracts are just one aspect of BDSM life. There are fantastic books (like “The New Topping Book” and “The New Bottoming Book,” or more specific ones like “The Ritual of Dominance and Submission” which dives deep into high protocol rituals). Online communities (FetLife, BDSM subreddits, etc.) discuss contracts and protocols often – hearing others’ experiences can spark ideas or highlight things to avoid. We cited a few sex educators and community voices here who stress negotiation and trust. Take those lessons to heart. And if possible, connect with a mentor or a like-minded couple; sometimes they can offer feedback on your contract or just moral support.

For those curious about how high protocol differs from low protocol, in brief: low protocol dynamics are more relaxed, often the power exchange is only during scenes or certain contexts, and rules are minimal or very flexible. High protocol (what we focused on) is more formal, with clear etiquette and perhaps a 24/7 vibe. One is not “better” than the other – it’s like the difference between a casual romance and a very traditional courtship. We have an article comparing the two if you want to explore that spectrum further (check out our Low vs. High Protocol guide for more insights). The key is finding what level works for you as a couple.

Final Thought: Creating a high protocol BDSM contract is a bit like crafting a work of art together. It’s collaborative, creative, and deeply personal. When you both sign that contract, it can be a powerful moment – a declaration of commitment to your chosen roles and to each other’s happiness. Some people describe it as a “kinky marriage,” others as signing “the ultimate promise of trust.” However you view it, treat it with reverence and with a sense of adventure. After all, you are writing your very own love and desire story, complete with its unique rules, rituals, and rewards.

May your contract bring you clarity, your protocols bring you pleasure, and your dynamic bring you closer than ever. In the dance of dominance and submission, a well-crafted contract is the music that keeps you in sync – playing softly in the background as you twirl in the passionate, disciplined, electrifying world of high protocol BDSM. Enjoy every step of that dance, and take care of each other along the way.

Resources: For further reading and tools, you might explore:

• BDSM Checklists (to discover likes/dislikes together) – many available online.

• Online forums or subreddits on BDSM contracts (real people’s questions and answers can be enlightening – e.g., discussions on enforceability, see legal advice threads).

• The work of sex educators like Michelle Fegatofi (author of “The BDSM Contract Book”) or Kaycie Crossley (whose writings on D/s contracts emphasize trust and ongoing negotiation).

• Erotica or memoirs from Master/slave couples, for a taste of how contracts play out in real relationships (sometimes these illustrate the spirit behind the clauses, beyond the dry text).

Above all, use your own wisdom and understanding of your partner. The greatest “contract” is the one written in your hearts – the mutual respect and love that makes any list of rules meaningful. Happy contracting, and may your high protocol journey be safe, sane, consensual, and utterly satisfying.