BeMoreKinky Research

I've spent a long time writing about sex, reviewing toys, dissecting power dynamics and arguing with strangers on the internet. But I've never had data before. Not like this.

BeMoreKinky is our app. We built it so couples could actually talk about what they want without the soul-crushing awkwardness of staring at each other across a kitchen table going, "So... do you fancy being tied up, or...?" Partners rate activities independently, propose sessions, explore identities together, and in the process, 11,000 of them (25,000 people in total) generated a dataset that offers a unique view into the world's kinky people.

This series is what that data told us.

The Research Series

What 11,000 Couples Reveal About the Kinks Partners Actually Agree On

The flagship findings: blindfolds beat everything, roleplay divides couples, and experience changes the map.

The Kinks Couples Agree on Fastest

A deep dive into the activities with the highest mutual enthusiasm, and the gap between fantasy and action.

The Most Divisive Kinks in Relationships

Where couples disagree most, which direction the mismatch runs, and what near-universal rejection looks like.

How Kinky Language Is Gendered

The "Good Girl" effect, the 27x demand gap, and what naming preferences reveal about power exchange culture.

How Experience Changes What Couples Want

Which kinks grow with experience, which stay flat, and what that means for couples at different stages.

What Couples Do Between Sessions

Proposals, tasks, quizzes, and AI scenes, how couples use the app to communicate desire outside the bedroom.

Methodology and Privacy

How we collected, anonymized, and analyzed this data, and what it cannot tell you.

A Note About This Data

I need to be upfront about what this is and what it isn't. All findings come from anonymized, aggregate patterns from BeMoreKinky app users between October 2024 and February 2026. These are people who actively downloaded a kink communication app, they are not a random cross-section of the population. They're more communicative, more exploratory, and probably more comfortable with the word "bondage" than your average person (although, more and more "average" people are finding a love of kink). Self-selected community, not representative sample. For the full details on how we handled privacy, anonymization, and analysis, see our methodology page.