We're a couple based in central Europe. We've been in the kink community for years, attending play parties and building friendships with people across the scene. We stay anonymous because we both have professional careers outside of this and the stigma is still real, but we built BeMoreKinky because every app in this space felt like it was made by people who'd never actually been to a munch.
We complement each other in ways that make this work. J is the engineer and researcher, the one who builds everything under the hood. J has spent over a decade building software, including security-critical systems at scale, and holds an MSc with published research (in a completely different field). J still reads academic papers for fun and won't publish anything without evidence behind it. That obsession with getting things right, combined with a deep belief that consent should be at the center of every sexual experience, is what led to the app being built in the first place.
In kink, J is a switch who mostly leans soft dom, loves fulfilling fantasies, and is very much into exhibitionism. J's favorite book is The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, and will talk your ear off about Midori and Esther Perel if you let them. J also builds BDSM furniture - the spanking bench took months to get right and is still the piece we're most proud of. That combination of engineering rigor and genuine personal investment is what shapes how we approach security, privacy, and getting the details right.
L is our designer and artist. Every screen, every interaction, every visual choice comes from L. Where J obsesses over systems and research, L obsesses over how things feel. L doesn't read research papers. L reads erotica, loves cosplay, and is deeply into kink aesthetics. That sensibility shapes the product just as much as any study does.
L also has a collection of over 100 fantasy dildos, which tells you everything you need to know about our commitment to the aesthetic side of kink. We believe good design should work like foreplay. It should build anticipation, create trust, and make you want to keep going. That philosophy is in every pixel of this app.
Meet the people who shape BeMoreKinky, from expert guidance to original erotica. We're hiring more writers, editors, and expert reviewers. See our open contributor roles.
Educational contributor
she/her
Board-certified sexologist and sexuality educator
Board-certified sexologist and sexuality educator specializing in kink, consent, consensual non-monogamy, relationships, and inclusive sexuality. She provides expert editorial review for BeMoreKinky's educational content.
Original fiction
Erotica writer
Writes erotic fiction and personal essays about sex, love, and self-discovery. Read her BeMoreKinky debut, Officer, You're Under House Arrest.
We've been writing together for over two years now. For every article we publish, we read extensively: academic papers, books, community discussions. All before we write a word. We talk to people we know in the community: practitioners, educators, couples with decades of experience. We don't publish anything based on guesswork.
Here's something people don't realize about this space: there are a lot of highly educated, deeply knowledgeable people in the kink community. Therapists, doctors, researchers, engineers. People who've been practicing and teaching for years. Most of them will never write publicly about it, because they'd face the same professional consequences we would.
So they help us instead. We have collaborators across kink education and therapy who review, challenge, and improve our content and features before they reach you. They can't put their names on it, but their expertise is in everything we publish. That's honestly the hidden reality of this field: the most knowledgeable people are often the least visible, and we've found a way to channel what they know into something useful.
We test our quizzes and features at actual play parties before they ship. The data we've collected from 11,000 couples using the app, the largest dataset of its kind, and our monthly surveys that reach over 50,000 kinksters, drive every feature and piece of content we build. We're not guessing what couples want. We know, because we asked.
Privacy. We encrypt everything with AES-256. On this website, we use privacy-minimized analytics for page traffic and a small set of app-download and BDSM-test funnel events. Those custom events do not include quiz answers, scores, result labels, or share codes. We built end-to-end encrypted chat using the Double Ratchet protocol (the same approach Signal uses) because nobody else in this space was treating private conversations with the seriousness they deserve. We built the whole security model as if our own data was at stake, because it literally is. We use this app every day. Our friends use this app. That changes how you think about every decision.
Consent in the architecture. We didn't bolt consent on as a feature. It's a principle we baked into every interaction, every data flow, every design decision. If something doesn't feel right from a consent perspective, we don't ship it.
Design that doesn't look like 2005. Kink apps have historically been ugly, sketchy, or both. We believe beautiful design creates trust, and trust creates the space to explore. The bar shouldn't be lower just because the subject is sex.
If you're a kink educator, therapist, researcher, or community leader and want to collaborate, we'd love to hear from you at partnerships@bemorekinky.com.
And if any of this resonates, if you've been looking for something built by people who actually live this, try the app.