BeMoreKinky research
Who wants bruises after a BDSM scene?
Self-declared dominants were much more likely than submissives to enjoy seeing marks or bruises on a partner after impact play.
Dominants, by a long way. Self-declared dominants were far more likely than submissives to enjoy seeing marks or bruises on a partner after impact play.
This answer belongs to the person doing the looking. It tells us who enjoys the visible aftermath of impact play, not who wants to wear the bruises themselves. For many dominants, the mark is part of the reward.
From the data
Dominants were far more likely to enjoy a partner's marks
Share agreeing that a partner's marks or bruises after impact play give them satisfaction
Among people who answered the BeMoreKinky impact-profile question, Self-declared dominant was 70% and Self-declared submissive was 19% for agreeing that seeing marks or bruises on a partner after impact play gives them satisfaction, a difference of 51 percentage points.
Dominants were much more likely to enjoy seeing marks on a partner
Impact play happens in the moment, but a mark lets part of that moment linger. Long after the implement has been put away and the roles have softened, one glance can bring back the rhythm of the scene and the partner's reactions.
We know that pleasure: a deliberate mark can feel like the last line of a scene. It is physical evidence of the effect one person had on another, and a reminder that the scene will live on the body for a little longer.
This pleasure leaned heavily towards self-declared dominants. It can be delight in the way the mark looks or, for somebody who delivered the impact, the possessive thrill of knowing who put it there.
Sometimes the look is the point. A cane line can be beautiful. A handprint can be gloriously unsubtle. The person wearing it may feel the sensation and memory from inside their own body, while the person who made it gets the particular pleasure of seeing the result.
A bruise can remind you of the scene later
In Drouin and colleagues' research, participants distinguished intentional marks from unintentional marks or injuries. They also described differences in where the marks appeared, how large they were and how severe they felt. Read the study of marks and injuries in BDSM.
"Liking bruises" sounds rather blunt from outside the scene. Inside it, a mark may be part of the aesthetic or the power exchange. It can feel possessive, decorative, cheeky, or simply pleasing to look at. The particular encounter gives it meaning. The shade of purple says very little by itself.
Marks can also have a private life after the scene. A submissive catches sight of one while dressing the next morning. A dominant sees it when their partner walks past. Nobody else knows the story, but both of them do. That small conspiracy can be delicious.
For somebody who enjoys this part of impact play, the bruise can recall the sound that produced it and the expression on their partner's face. It may bring back the exact point where a scene shifted from playful to intense. The body becomes a very intimate aide-memoire.
Some submissives also enjoyed seeing marks on a partner
Submissives were far less likely to choose this answer. Some still did. Declared roles describe where somebody feels at home, while individual scenes can be much less tidy.
A self-declared submissive may top sometimes. They may enjoy seeing traces on a partner without identifying as dominant in the wider relationship. Or they may like marks as part of a shared visual language, regardless of who made them.
Some people simply enjoy marks on either body. They like the look and the memory. That little jolt of recognition afterwards can be its own pleasure. Desire has never shown much respect for a perfectly tidy role diagram.
The dominant lean is still clear. "Do you like marks?" loses the part of the answer that changes the desire: who is looking at whom.
Liking a partner's bruises is not the same as wanting bruises yourself
"I like bruises" could mean enjoying the thud and sting that create them. It could mean wanting a private souvenir on your own body. Or, as in this result, it could mean getting a thrill from seeing your work on a partner afterwards. Those are different pleasures, even when they meet in the same scene.
Marks make a poor shorthand for how hard somebody plays. A small, carefully placed mark can be loaded with meaning. A dramatic bruise can be much less interesting to somebody who came for the sensation. The colour alone cannot tell you what either person wanted from the scene.
"Whose bruises?" gets closer to the desire. Perhaps the appeal is the sensation of receiving them, the memory of carrying them, the look of them on a partner or the possessive satisfaction of knowing exactly how they got there.
Wanting to leave a mark and wanting to carry one are allowed to be different desires. Giving impact can feel different from receiving it. Then there is that third pleasure: pausing the next morning to admire the evidence together.