Facesitting Positions: Techniques and Variations
Face-sitting isn't a single position, it's a category of positions with many variations to experiment with. At its core, one partner lies down (or reclines) while the other "takes a seat" on their face, bringing their vulva, penis, or anus in contact with the partner's mouth.
Want to explore facesitting and other femdom positions with your partner? The BeMoreKinky app offers over 20 gentle femdom activities, 24 soft femdom phrases, and position and display exercises to help couples discover power dynamics through oral pleasure.
How Do You Sit on Someone's Face?
You kneel over your partner's face, one knee either side of their head, while they lie back on a pillow. Face toward the headboard or away from it, depending on the angle you want. Lower yourself gradually, keeping your weight on your knees and thighs, and use the headboard or the wall to steady yourself.
The person on top can either kneel on all fours (with knees on the bed or floor next to the partner's ears) or squat directly on the partner's face. Kneeling is a bit more stable and less strenuous; your weight is partially supported by your legs. Squatting (feet or toes on the bed/mat, thighs over your partner's shoulders) lets you really control depth by raising or lowering your hips.
Some refer to an intermediate posture as the "crouching tiger", up on your feet in a squat, which can feel dominant and allow bouncing or grinding motions. Experiment with both: in a long session, you might even switch between kneeling (to rest thigh muscles) and squatting (for a more intense push onto your partner's mouth).
You don't necessarily have to plop down with full weight immediately, many couples alternate between hovering and fully sitting. Hovering means the person on top squats just above their partner's face, using their thighs and core to control how much weight they put down.
This gives the bottom partner (the one lying down) room to breathe and speak, and it allows the top to regulate pressure and tease by moving closer or further.
In contrast, fully sitting means letting most of your weight rest on your partner's face (usually on the chin, cheeks, and mouth area). This can create deeper pressure and intensity of contact.
When you attempt full-weight sitting, it can be useful to position so that your partner's nose is between either your thighs or slightly to the side of your genitals, rather than directly under the pubic bone. This way their nostrils might still get a bit of airflow even as you cover their mouth completely.
Important safety note: BDSM safety expert Jay Wiseman warns that there is no completely safe way to restrict someone's breathing, as even a few seconds of full airway blockage can be unpredictable.
Tip: If you're new, start with a hover and gradually increase weight as comfort allows, you'll both find the sweet spot between gentle touch and satisfying pressure.
Establish a hand signal or agreed gesture for the bottom to use when they need air, for example, tapping out, or if their hands are immobilized, maybe holding a small ball they can drop.
How Do You Sit on His Face?
The same as for anyone, one knee either side of his head. Stubble can scratch, so either he trims close or you use a little lube on your inner thighs. Facing his feet lets you reach his body while he reaches you from a different angle.
How Do You Ride Someone's Face?
Riding someone's face means you do the moving. You rock, grind in small circles, or lift and lower yourself while their tongue stays in one spot. The person underneath takes your movement through their neck, so move in short bursts and less wildly if their neck is sore.
Hovering just above your partner's mouth, so that they have to reach up with their tongue, can be extremely hot. This is less about comfort for long periods and more about maximizing your control and arousal.
The key to making this comfortable (and not an extreme thigh workout) is to do it in short bursts or have something to support part of your weight. This position is often what leads many with vulvas to orgasm, because you can position their nose or chin right against your clit while their tongue teases your entrance, a dual sensation that's heavenly.
Communicate with moans or words to let them know if something feels amazing (they'll get the idea quickly). When you need a break or feel your legs tiring, you can lower fully onto their face for a rest (or switch to a kneeling position). Some couples play a game here: the top will hover and grind until just about to climax, then pull back, a bit of edging that can make the final finish explosively good.
Best Face Sitting Positions for Comfort and Pleasure
The positions that work best are usually the ones where both partners stay comfortable long enough to really get into it.
1. Classic (Facing Forward)
Start with the classic arrangement, partner on their back, you kneeling over their face, but add a pillow or wedge under the bottom partner's head and shoulders. This slight elevation does two things: it reduces neck strain for the person on bottom and it angles their face upward, which often gives better access to your goodies.
In this arrangement, sometimes called the queen's throne, you can maintain eye contact and easily watch your partner's expressions. This face-to-face orientation often makes oral access to the clitoris or penis straightforward.
Sexologist Marla Stewart notes that if the receiver (the one lying down) has any neck or back issues, propping them up with a pillow or small Liberator wedge can make a world of difference. It basically brings their mouth closer to you so you don't have to squat as low. Both partners can relax more in this setup. Make sure the pillow is not too soft (a firmer cushion maintains stability).
2. Reverse (Facing Away)
Reverse face-sitting offers some unique benefits: it can provide a great angle for the giver to stimulate the clitoris with their tongue or to perform rimming (anal oral stimulation) since the anus is directly above the partner's lips and tongue. Some people find that facing away feels less shy, since you're not making direct eye contact, which can help you relax into enjoyment if you're feeling self-conscious.
When you face away from your partner's head (toward their feet), your partner's tongue naturally aligns differently with your anatomy, often reaching spots that facing-forward might not.
For instance, if you have a clitoris, facing away means your partner's nose or upper lip can rub it while their tongue focuses on your vaginal opening or perineum, an amazing combo for some.
To maximize comfort here, use your partner's body as support: you can place your hands on their thighs or even hold their ankles for balance. Your partner can also bend their knees slightly behind you, giving you a sort of "backrest" to lean against if needed.
Because you're turned around, the bottom partner can also, if they like, stimulate you with a finger at the same time (for example, a finger on the clit while tongue is busy elsewhere).
Pro tip: In reverse positions, be mindful of hair (if you have long hair, tie it up or toss it to the side so it doesn't tickle your partner's belly or get accidentally pulled). Also, consider a mirror. Some couples place a mirror at the foot of the bed so the partner on bottom can still see the action (and you might catch a glimpse of yourself which can be a huge turn-on or a source of visual feedback).
Comfort-wise, reverse can sometimes put more pressure on the partner's neck (since many people naturally arch their head back a bit in this orientation). That pillow or wedge under the shoulders we mentioned works here too, keeping their neck neutral.
Or, the bottom partner can scoot to the edge of the bed while lying down, so that you (the sitter) can stand or kneel on the floor facing away, essentially using the bed's height to line up with their face. This variant is great if there's a significant weight difference or if the top partner wants to be more stable by having feet on the ground.
3. Sideways Face Sitting
Some couples enjoy a sideways straddle, especially if the top's thighs are bothering them in a standard squat. You turn your body to face the side of the bed, not the headboard or your partner's feet. One knee goes on the bed past the top of their head and the other beside their shoulder, so nothing presses on their throat or chest, and your weight stays on your knees.
This position can reduce hip strain for the sitter, and it offers a fun novelty, your partner's tongue will hit different angles.
Feel free to use a hand to direct your partner's head or to hold yourself up a bit. It can also transition nicely into a normal 69 position if you angle down.
4. The "Chair Throne"
If a bed isn't the most comfortable for face-sitting, try using a sturdy chair or sofa. The bottom partner sits upright or slightly reclined in the chair, and the top partner straddles their face from above. One way is for the bottom person to sit on the edge of the seat, and the top partner stands or kneels over them.
Many find this setup incredibly comfortable because the bottom's head is naturally tilted back against the headrest (perfect angle for oral), and the top can hold onto the chair for support. Just ensure the chair is stable and can handle movement (no wheels!). You might also put a towel down on the chair seat if kneeling for cushioning.
Bonus: This position leaves the bottom partner's hands free to roam, they might grip your buttocks to help guide you, or stimulate you with a toy (imagine a vibrator on your nipple or a wand on your perineum while you get licked, oh my!). For the person on bottom, this can be one of the best positions because their own breathing is usually unrestricted (their chest isn't compressed by you) and they can pull back easily if needed.
One variation sometimes called "Sofa Soiree" involves the bottom partner sitting upright or propped against an armchair back while the top partner kneels on the armrests and lowers their pelvis to the partner's face.
Another idea is using a sturdy ottoman or custom "queening stool", essentially a low seat with an opening, where the bottom lies beneath the opening and the top sits above.
For additional creative positioning ideas, explore chair sex positions which offer similar power dynamics with different angles and support options.
Change it up. Even the best face sitting positions can cause numbness or cramp after a while. Don't hesitate to rotate between two or three positions in one session. For instance, start in classic facing, then try reverse, then maybe finish by lying down and having your partner go down on you in a regular way. Variety prevents strain and can heighten arousal through new sensations.
Sitting on Face: Advanced Sex Position Techniques
For comprehensive guidance on femdom facesitting dynamics and power exchange, explore our femdom facesitting guide.
Advanced players often mix in sex toys or other sexual activities for mind-blowing combos. For example, the top partner might use a vibrator on their clit while being orally serviced, it's a fantastic way to ensure a strong orgasm if oral alone isn't getting you all the way.
The person on bottom could also hold a small vibe on the top's genitals (if they can manage while licking, or during breaks when coming up for air).
Another idea: incorporate penetration if you want to. If the bottom has a free hand, they might slide a finger or dildo into the top partner (with ample lube and communication). The top can ride their face and the toy simultaneously.
Some couples take turns, say, the top sits for a while and orgasms from oral, then immediately shifts to 69 or intercourse to get the bottom off.
On the flip side, for a truly decadent session, the bottom partner could be the one stimulated while giving oral. How? If the bottom has a penis, the top could stroke it or use a masturbation sleeve on them while still sitting (this is tricky but possible if you sit high on their chest periodically to give reach).
If the bottom is female, the top might reach back and use fingers on the bottom's clit in a reverse position (depending on flexibility).
Maybe the top uses the bottom's hair as "reins" to steer their face. Another advanced variation is incorporating light bondage. For instance, the bottom partner's hands can be tied (to the bedposts or behind their back) while the top sits on their face. The bottom cannot push the top off (hence this is only for experienced pairs who already trust each other's non-verbal safewords!).
If you want to try this, test it gradually: maybe start by having the bottom clasp their own hands behind their back during a face-sit, to simulate being bound. If that goes well, you could introduce actual cuffs or rope in a future session.
Safety and Communication in Face Sitting Positions
Breathe Easy, Literally: Breathing is the top safety concern in face-sitting. For the person on bottom, never be too proud or too shy to signal if you need air.
Some couples use a counting system: the bottom might tap once periodically to show they're still okay, two or more taps to indicate they need a break now.
In fact, discuss this in advance: bottom partner can say, "Sometimes I might tap you not because I'm panicking, but just to take a quick breath, please don't take it as a failure; I really want to continue after." This removes any pressure or guilt.
Tops, when you feel a tap or get a signal, respond immediately. Lift up and/or swing off to the side so your partner has free air. Check their face, are they okay?
If someone ever looks truly distressed (gasping hard, coughing, or their face has gone from flushed red to a concerning pale or blueish tinge), stop the scene. Always have a plan to stop and recover if anyone panics or feels dizzy.
Do not sit again until they fully catch breath and explicitly say they're okay. As a top, also be mindful of your own breathing. It's easy to hold your breath or get lightheaded if you're exerting effort (like squatting) for a long time.
The person lying down should be comfortable and supported. Make sure the neck is aligned. Using a small pillow or folded towel under the head/neck can help avoid hyperextension (bending too far back). If the bottom partner has any history of neck issues, definitely use support and maybe limit how wildly you move on top.
The bottom can also place their hands on the top's thighs not just for pleasure, but to support or relieve pressure if needed.
If you feel pain or a bad strain, communicate that. Adjust position if, say, your neck is cricking to the side, maybe angle differently or have the top shift forward/back. If you have knee or neck issues, adapt the position, for instance, the bottom partner can try semi-sitting propped up, and the top can squat with feet on the bed/floor instead of kneeling on the person.
A little ache in the muscles from a wild sex session is fine, but sharp pain or lasting discomfort is not. Stop if something feels wrong.
Because facesitting involves very intimate oral-anal contact in some cases, hygiene is part of safety. Ensure both partners are clean, a quick wash of the genital and anal area if you plan to include rimming will prevent unwanted bacteria from causing UTIs or stomach issues for the giver.
Some folks use dental dams or cut-open condoms as a barrier during cunnilingus or rimming for safer sex, especially if you're not fluid-bonded or have any STI concerns. Realistically, as the Them.us guide notes, it's challenging to keep a barrier in place during facesitting, because things slip around.
Also, have some water nearby; giving oral under someone can be a dry-mouth affair and having water helps.
For more on establishing clear communication before intimate activities, see our BDSM communication guide.
After intense facesitting sessions, proper aftercare helps both partners reconnect and process the experience together.