Extreme Would You Rather Questions for Impossible, Gross, and Brutally Hard Choices

Gross Would You Rather Questions That Are Still Playable

Time to lighten the mood, or churn some stomachs. This is the section for bodily fluids, creepy-crawlies, mystery smells, and everyone shouting "Absolutely not" before answering anyway. Save these for groups that appreciate the revolting.

Deep breath. Possibly through your mouth:

• A small cup of someone else's vomit, or one little piece of someone else's scab? (Apologies. Straight into the bin with this one.)

• Swim across a pool of sewage, or spend the night in a box room with 100 cockroaches roaming about? (Choose the filth touching you or the filth moving around you.)

• An awful itch somewhere you cannot politely scratch, or a throat tickle that never quite coughs itself out? (One makes you squirm. The other makes you want to claw your own neck.)

• A whole bowl of wet cat food, all tuna stink and gravy, or one bite of human poop? (Cat food has branding. Poop has no defence.)

• Reek of rotten eggs without noticing, or constantly smell rotten eggs when everyone else swears the room is fine? (Ruin other people's day, or let your own nose ruin yours.)

• Walk in on a rat eating your kitchen snacks, or wake up to a roach walking across you in bed? (Snack thief or midnight leg tickle. Grim either way.)

• A month of public toilets with no paper, every single time, or a month with no shower, bath, sink-wash, nothing? (Basically: bathroom panic or slow personal decay.)

• Would you rather drink a mystery smoothie blended from the contents of a random person's bin, or lick the seat of a public toilet one time? (Trash shake or toilet lollipop: which could you stomach without losing your lunch?)

• Wake up with tiny spiders nesting in your hair, or with one warm snake curled at the bottom of your bed? (Spiders: many little tickly nightmares. Snake: one big slithery surprise. Both are horror movie material.)

• A visible green face fungus for a week, or a week of loud, uncontrollable farts at the worst possible moments? (Swamp face or human whoopee cushion.)

The key with gross questions is leaning into the absurdity. Everyone will be pulling faces and yelling "Oh my God, neither!", which is half the fun. But the comedy gold is in the justifications. I once heard someone argue, with a completely straight face, that licking a toilet seat was the logical choice because "at least it's quick and the human mouth already has plenty of bacteria anyway." Filthy argument. Weirdly persuasive.

Survival and Fear-Based Would You Rather Questions

Now we wander into life-or-death territory. Hypothetically, obviously. Heights, darkness, weather, teeth, claws: all the stuff your nervous system takes personally. This is where everyone suddenly becomes a survival expert who definitely once read a thing about punching sharks in the nose.

Try not to die in your own imagination:

• Two days in the Sahara with no water, or two days in the Arctic tundra with no coat? (Heat stroke or hypothermia: where do you think you have a fighting chance?)

• Hungry lion, one dagger, dry land. Or a 12-foot shark, one spear, open water. Which stupid heroic death are you picking? (Land versus sea, teeth versus teeth. Both apex predators, both terrible odds. Which battle gives you any hope?)

• Free-falling lift from the 30th floor, or derailing rollercoaster at full speed? (Metal box drop, or theme-park betrayal.)

• One night alone in a famously haunted asylum, or one night lost in predator-heavy forest with no torch? (Ghosts messing with your mind versus actual animals hunting you: supernatural dread or raw nature?)

• Deadly wasps chasing you until they catch you, or one definite bite after stepping into a nest of venomous snakes? (A hundred smaller pains versus one big envenomation. Quick intense agony or drawn-out panic as you run?)

• Crash-land unhurt on a remote island with no supplies, or lose your way underground in a huge cave system with barely any gear? (Open elements and thirst and possible rescue, versus darkness and claustrophobia and disorientation. Which survival scenario could you handle?)

• Ten days with water and no food, or four days with food and no water? (Starving slowly, or drying out fast.)

• Walk through a minefield where some mines are definitely live, or cross a tightrope between two high-rises with no net? (Step by step with death underfoot either way. One is luck and careful steps; the other is balance and nerve.)

• Would you rather drift at sea in a small lifeboat with no navigation, or wander the desert with a broken compass? (Sun and sand versus sun and saltwater. Isolation at two extremes: endless waves or endless dunes?)

• Would you rather try to outrun a tornado on foot with a head start, or outrun an avalanche down a mountain on skis? (Both chases from Mother Nature. Which gives you a sliver of hope and which is instant doom?)

You might be surprised who fears what, too; someone bold about heights might go absolutely white at the mention of deep water. I love watching that happen. It's oddly exhilarating to confront what terrifies you when there's zero actual risk involved.

Public Embarrassment Would You Rather Questions

Now for a different kind of extreme: social horror. These put your reputation, dignity, or pride on the line in front of other people. This is the category that gets shy people making strangled noises and shameless people going, "Actually, I could style that out." Someone will also tell a story they probably should have kept private.

Picture the worst possible room for each one:

• Your boss gets a nude you meant to send elsewhere, or your mum gets butt-dialled during sex and hears the whole soundtrack? (Either way, you're never living it down. Which relationship are you more willing to scar: professional or family?)

• Give a speech stark naked on stage, or have one deeply embarrassing private video get passed around the internet? (A live nightmare that ends, or a digital one with screenshots.)

• Audibly fart in the quiet bit of a serious work meeting, or throw up on your date's shoes halfway through dinner? (Both are mortifying bodily oopsies. Office infamy or romantic disaster: which could you bounce back from?)

• Your clothes fail you in front of a crowd, or your brain empties out mid-solo and you stand there silently with the mic on? (Body betrayal or brain betrayal.)

• Your diary read aloud to your friend group, or your last year of search history shown to your parents? (Friends get the feelings, family gets the browser shame.)

• Pee yourself in public once a week with no warning, or visibly drip snot whenever you speak to someone important? (Recurring public shame in two different forms. Wet pants or snot face: which could you handle being known for?)

• Stand up in a packed restaurant and confess a secret that makes you look awful, or knock over something expensive and make the entire place turn round? (Social reputation hit versus public clumsiness and possibly a massive bill. Thought of as bad, or thought of as a bumbling disaster?)

• Would you rather be fired in front of all your co-workers in a dramatic, loud way, or be dumped by your partner in a very public setting in front of friends? (Professional humiliation or romantic heartbreak on display: which public spectacle of rejection could you stomach?)

• A filthy text from a lover gets read aloud at a family gathering, or your embarrassing laptop tab appears on the work meeting screen? (Your personal dirt exposed at home versus at work. Family gossip or workplace whispers: what's worse?)

Public embarrassment questions almost always lead to storytelling, "This actually happened to a mate of mine..." or someone confessing something mortifying that makes the whole room scream. And here's the lovely thing: laughter eases the sting. We're all terrified of humiliation, but admitting it together is weirdly comforting. As Esther Perel has said, there's a bond that comes from being vulnerable with each other, and nothing's more vulnerable than imagining yourself naked and ashamed in front of everyone you know.

If you want to raise the stakes, challenge people to explain their recovery plan: "Alright, you chose to send the nude to your boss. Now how do you ever face them again? Talk me through it." Turning the cringe into creativity is where the real laughs live.

Dark and Moral Would You Rather Questions

Ready to get dark? These tread into ethically murky waters, the kind of dilemmas that make you question right versus wrong, or reveal a dark side you didn't know someone had. If you need a minute before answering, take it.

Proceed with caution:

• Accidentally cause a stranger's death, or accidentally leave your best friend disabled for life? (Unknown grief, or familiar guilt every time you see them.)

• Get away with a terrible crime and spend your life waiting for the knock at the door, or do five years for something you did not do and be cleared afterward? (Free and guilty, or locked up and clean.)

• Steal a large sum from a charity and never get caught, or spend a year begging on the street where people you know might see you? (Your conscience takes the hit, or your pride does.)

• Find out your closest loved one committed a horrible crime, knowing your honesty sends them to prison, or never learn the truth while they get away with it? (Justice gets very messy when it has your favourite person's face.)

• Kill one innocent person yourself, in secret, or do nothing while five innocent people die even though you could stop it? (Hands dirty, or hands clean-looking. That is the trap.)

• No laws anywhere, full chaos, or a state that watches and controls every move you make? (Wild danger, or tidy oppression.)

• Lie to family and friends about who you really are, every day, or spend a year saying the blunt thing in your head before you can stop yourself? (Live a lie to be accepted, or potentially destroy relationships with harsh honesty. What's more "moral" in the long run?)

• Would you rather be known to history as a horrible villain (though the accounts are exaggerated or false), or be completely forgotten as if you never existed? (Legacy as an infamous figure or no legacy at all. Some say being remembered, even for bad, is better than nothing. Do you agree?)

• Do 10 hard years for a crime you actually committed and come out changed, or get away with it and carry the secret until you die? (Pay your dues and suffer for it, or save yourself and live with the moral consequences internally.)

• Would you rather have the power to heal all illness but only by taking on the sickness yourself, or have the power to end all war but only by sacrificing your own life? (A superhero-scale moral choice: become the world's martyr either way. Which cause would you die for?)

Heavy stuff. These aren't for every audience; use your judgement, gauge the room. That "kill one in secret or let five die" one is the trolley problem philosophers have chewed over since Philippa Foot posed it in 1967, and watching a mate reason through action versus inaction in real time tells you more about them than an hour of small talk would. I do love the moment a moral dilemma derails the jokes. Someone says, "I couldn't live with myself if I did X," or "Honestly? I value my loved ones over strangers," and suddenly you know something real about them. As Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton have written, fantasy scenarios, even grim ones, can be a safe way to explore our shadow side without real-life consequences. The hypothetical gives you cover to say what you actually think.

After this section, throw in something stupid about cockroaches or trousers. Let the room breathe.

Deep Would You Rather Questions for Adults

Not every extreme question has to make you gag or question your morality. Some just make the table go quiet for a beat. These are for close friends, couples, or any group that actually enjoys a proper conversation rather than just enduring one while waiting for the next round of drinks.

See where the discussion leads:

• Would you rather have a fulfilling career that pays just enough to live (nothing more), or a high-paying job that you absolutely loathe and causes you daily stress? (Meaning versus money: how do you define success?)

• Change one decision from your past and see the new life it creates, or peek at one future event you will not be able to change? (Past regrets versus future mysteries. Which knowledge would serve you more?)

• Would you rather never feel anxiety or fear ever again, but also never feel exciting adrenaline or "butterflies" of love, or continue to feel the full range as you do now? (A life of steady calm with lower highs, or the rollercoaster of highs and lows. Emotional stability versus intensity.)

• Spend the next decade bouncing from country to country and then settle forever, or spend the decade building a home base and only travel freely after that? (Do you want the story now, or the roots now?)

• Lose reading and writing, or lose speaking and hearing? (Books and texts disappear, or voices and music do.)

• One unbelievable day of happiness and then an ordinary life, or a life that is steadily good but never hits that insane high? (Peak experience versus steady contentment. Are you a "peak moment" person or an "overall journey" person?)

• Would you rather forget who you are (lose your core memories and identity, essentially start fresh) or forget who everyone else is (lose your memories of those you love)? (Losing self versus losing others: a profoundly sad scenario either way.)

• Say exactly what is in your head, even when it hurts people, or never say what you truly feel and keep serving the polite lie? (Your mouth becomes a weapon, or a cage.)

• Have a partner who loves you deeply while you keep wondering about single life, or stay independent and always wonder what love with that person would have been like? (Having versus wondering. This one reveals how much you value companionship versus freedom.)

• Would you rather be truly at peace with yourself and who you are, but have very few friends and connections, or be incredibly popular and loved by many, but always internally struggling with self-worth and identity? (Inner peace versus external acceptance. Which form of happiness do you prioritise?)

I won't lie, that last one hits differently when you've spent years pretending to be fine for the sake of social harmony. A lot of us have. And that's exactly why these questions work; they give you permission to say out loud what you actually think, because it's "just a game."

If you're playing with a partner, pick a few of these. They're a back door into the big conversations, easier than just blurting out "So what do you really want from life?" over dinner. It's the same mechanism behind Arthur Aron's 36 questions experiment: his 1997 study found that two strangers who worked through a set of escalating, increasingly personal questions felt markedly closer by the end, and some therapists now use hypotheticals in couples counselling for exactly this reason. As Esther Perel has said, storytelling and hypotheticals reduce defensiveness while still getting to the truth.

For groups, follow up with "What experience or thought brought you to that choice?"

Money, Power, and Fame Would You Rather Questions

The classic temptations: wealth, influence, celebrity. These work like a cheap lie detector for your values. Will you endure misery for millions? Sacrifice power for peace of mind? I find these expose people's ambitions faster than almost anything else, or, just as often, a quiet contentment with a simpler life that they've never said out loud before.

Step into the shoes of the rich and powerful, or don't:

• Win $50 million and never speak to your close friends or family again, or keep your current bank balance and keep your people? (Picture the empty mansion before you answer.)

• Run the country with all the power and all the migraines, or have no responsibilities beyond your own life and no real sway outside your little circle? (Total power and pressure versus personal freedom and relative insignificance.)

• Be known worldwide for something embarrassing, or quietly do something genuinely good while almost nobody knows your name? (Global notoriety versus anonymous do-gooder. Which feeds your soul, or your ego, more?)

• Take the massive salary with 80-hour weeks and endless airports, or the modest 20-hour job that leaves you loads of time and no chance of being rich? (All work, no life versus lots of life, modest work. Where do you actually fall on this?)

• Every investment and gamble you touch either breaks even or pays out, or every argument you enter somehow ends with people agreeing with you? (Cash luck, or unbearable dinner-party power.)

• Would you rather inherit a massive fortune (billions) but with the catch that you can only spend it on others, or earn a comfortable living on your own where you can spend freely on yourself but never have excess to help others much? (Philanthropist angel with no personal luxuries versus modest means and personal autonomy.)

• Be a household name with no privacy, or be frighteningly intelligent while most people never hear of you? (Paparazzi at the bins, or genius in a quiet room.)

• A luxury mansion miles from everyone you love, or a small place right next to your favourite people? (Lavish solitude versus cosy community.)

• Your dream job with barely-enough money, or a boring, easy job that pays so well you can escape early? (Passion versus paycheck in its purest form.)

Drag out the stupid specifics: "You're leader now, what's the first ridiculous law?" or "Fine, you're famous for a scandal. Which scandal could you survive?"

Then wait for the inevitable Ferrari argument. It always arrives.

Relationship and Friendship Would You Rather Questions

Relationships are where our toughest real-life choices actually live, so naturally, they make for properly juicy hypotheticals. These can be silly or sincere, but each one forces you to weigh matters of the heart. Perfect for a game night with close friends or a spicy round at a couples' gathering; just be ready to talk things out afterwards.

See how people really think about love and loyalty:

• Would you rather have your partner fall in love with someone else (emotionally, but they never physically cheat), or have them have a one-night physical fling with someone with zero emotional attachment? (Emotional betrayal versus physical betrayal: which would hurt more, and which could you possibly forgive?)

• Take the blame for your friend's mistake, or tell the truth and watch them get in serious trouble you could have prevented? (How much of their mess are you willing to wear?)

• Love your partner more than they love you, or be loved harder than you can honestly return? (An imbalance either way. Which side of unrequited could you handle: giving more or receiving more without reciprocity?)

• A brilliant group of friends and no romantic partner, or one amazing partner and no close friends at all? (Crowd of chosen family, or one person as your whole world.)

• Your best friend wins $5 million while you get nothing, or you win $1 million while they stay broke and miserable? (Your success versus your friend's larger success. Are you selfless enough to prefer they get the bigger win?)

• Find out one parent is not biologically yours and everyone hid it, or discover a secret sibling close to your age? (Big family secrets: an identity shake-up versus a new family member. Which would be more of a shock?)

• Your partner moves 5,000 miles away for good, or one ugly fight ends your best friendship permanently? (Heartbreak either way: love separated by fate or friendship broken by conflict. Which loss would you recover from better?)

• Your partner's best friend or in-law openly hates you, or your partner starts hating your closest friend? (Whose awkward dinner are you choosing?)

• Marry the perfect person with a family you cannot stand, or marry someone slightly wrong for you whose family feels like home? (The person, or the whole noisy package.)

• Let your partner read every text and DM forever, or give up private messaging and social media entirely? (A relationship audit, or digital monkhood.)

People feel strongly about this stuff. You'll hear someone insist, "No way could I handle my partner in love with someone else, that's worse than a one-night stand," while the person next to them feels the exact opposite. If you're playing with your other half present, tread carefully and remember it's a game, not ammunition.

Try asking, "What would change your mind?" or "Is that answer personal?" Maybe someone had a toxic relationship and swore off romance. Maybe someone grew up with a best friend who felt more like family. Keep it gentle and the answers get a lot more interesting.

Adult-Only Extreme Would You Rather Questions (Dirty Dilemmas)

Adults only from here. If you're in a mixed-age group or a more conservative crowd, skip this section entirely. But for hen nights, close friend hangouts, or those game nights that have already gone spectacularly sideways; these dirty Would You Rather questions will crank up the heat and the laughter. They go from slightly risqué to properly filthy.

Keep it sex-positive and shame-free. If someone enthusiastically picks the kinky option, that's brilliant, not an invitation to take the piss, and worth remembering what kink actually means once the myths are stripped away. And if someone looks uncomfortable, don't press.

Ready to blush?

• Say your ex's name in bed by accident, or hear your partner say theirs? (The silence afterward would be biblical.)

• A partner who's electric in bed but emotionally thin soup, or someone emotionally gorgeous who treats sex like a tax form? (You may now offend either your heart or your libido.)

• Orgasm so loudly every time that the neighbours learn your schedule, or never orgasm again but still enjoy sex? (Noisy bliss, or permanent almost-there.)

• Walk in on your parents having sex, full trauma cinema, or have them walk in on you? (There is no family group chat recovery plan for this.)

• Kinky, toy-box, safe-word sex every time forever, or tender vanilla sex every time forever? (No variety. Just the lane you choose. As educators like Mollena Williams and Janet Hardy might remind us, both are perfectly valid; it comes down to the difference between a kink and a fetish and which you'd miss more.)

• Would you rather accidentally send a nude photo or sexy text to the family group chat, or accidentally broadcast it as a social media story for all your followers to see? (Family shock versus public embarrassment: where would you rather your sexy mishap land?)

• Would you rather have sex in the same one position forever (no switching it up), or never be able to do the same position twice (constant change, but you'll miss your favourites once they're gone)? (Monotony versus forced novelty. Do you treasure that one perfect move or crave variety above all?)

• Date the person who needs costumes and characters every single time, or the person who only has sex in total darkness and silence? (Theatrical kink versus puritanical minimalism. Either way, your bedroom routine is getting an extreme rule.)

• A magic sex remote that rewinds the last 30 seconds, or one that fast-forwards through awkward bits? (Redo the excellent mistake, or skip the bit where someone's knee cramps.)

• No oral sex ever again, giving or receiving, or reverse cowgirl as the only position for the rest of your life? (Oral is completely off the table, or you're stuck with one acrobatic position forever. A tough one, because oral is beloved, but reverse cowgirl might get old spectacularly fast.)

• Tell your parents every detail of your sexual history, or sit through an hour of them giving you detailed sex stories and advice? (Intense awkward TMI in one direction or the other. Spill your secrets to them, or hear theirs. Pick your awkward poison.)

These are best saved for when everyone's already comfortable and the trust is there. Imagine everyone's faces during the parents question. The laughter alone is worth it, and you'd be surprised how honest people get once the ice is properly broken.

If someone reveals something about themselves, don't be a dick about it. As Betty Dodson and Annie Sprinkle always championed: talking about what turns us on shouldn't be shameful. Sometimes a stupid question does what a serious conversation cannot.

A fun follow-up: have everyone guess what they think others would choose before the reveal. "I bet Alex would rather have the emotional partner over the good-in-bed one." Then see if you're right. It's exactly why we seed prompts like these into BeMoreKinky's card decks: a daft hypothetical gets a couple naming a fantasy out loud far quicker than a flat "so what are you into?" ever does, and it pairs nicely with a kink bucket list of experiences to explore.

Weird Body and Identity Would You Rather Questions

Time to get properly weird. These are the bizarre hypotheticals that don't fit anywhere else: bodily changes, identity swaps, reality-bending conditions that make you think "Could I actually live with that?" or just cackle at the mental image.

Time to get anatomically cursed:

• A robotic arm that's absurdly strong but numb, or a robotic leg that's absurdly fast but numb? (Great party trick, horrible cuddle logistics.)

• Lose taste forever, or lose smell forever and also lose your smoke/gas-leak warning system? (Food becomes sad, or your nose quits its job.)

• Age only from the neck up, or only from the neck down? (Ancient face on a sprightly body, or baby face on creaky knees.)

• Change sex whenever you want, or change physical age whenever you want? (The admin alone would be a nightmare.)

• Wake up with random hair every day, cut and colour included, or wake up in a different body every day while still being you inside? (Chaotic hair versus chaotic body. One is maybe fixable with a hat; the other means reinventing "you" every morning.)

• Would you rather have three extra fingers on each hand (making basic tasks awkward but you might learn some impressive tricks), or one eye smack in the middle of your forehead (you see fine, but you look like a cyclops)? (Extra fingers could be handy, sorry, or clumsy. A third eye might give great peripheral vision but your selfie game is utterly ruined.)

• Spend one day as a dog with your human mind, or as a human with a dog's mind? (Either way, someone is licking something they shouldn't.)

• Have your mum or dad's exact speaking voice forever, or swap bodies with them for one day? (Sound like your parent forever versus literally be them for 24 hours. Which is the less horrifying identity crisis?)

• A cartoon thought bubble above your head that everyone can read, or a permanent narrator describing your actions out loud? (Your thoughts are public versus your life has a Truman Show narrator. Which bizarre existence could you handle?)

• Teleport anywhere but age two years per trip, or time-travel 10 years either way and lose one important memory each time? (Convenience versus memories. Would you trade bits of your lifespan or your life story for these powers?)

People will logic their way through the most insane scenarios here: "If I had a robotic arm, I could arm-wrestle anyone... but I'd miss feeling someone's hand in mine." These are also a good breather if things got too heavy earlier. Drop a silly body-swap question after a dark moral one and the energy lifts right back up.

Best Extreme Would You Rather Questions for Polls and Group Votes

With a big group, make people vote with their bodies. Option A goes by the sofa, Option B by the kitchen, or everyone closes their eyes and raises a hand so cowards cannot copy the loudest person. You want questions that split the room, not the ones where everyone shrugs and chooses the obvious escape hatch.

These tend to divide opinion right down the middle:

• Ten minutes late to everything forever, or 20 minutes early forever? (This one starts petty scheduling arguments almost immediately.)

• A full day shut in with 100 mosquitoes, or 10 minutes in the wrong room with one hungry tiger? (Endless minor torture versus a brief encounter with possible death. People's survival logic differs wildly here.)

• No social media or phone apps for a year, or no TV, films, or streaming for a year? (Find out which screen owns you.)

• Only whisper forever, or only shout forever? (Library menace or walking tannoy.)

• A permanently messy home you cannot tidy, or a strict dull routine you must follow every day? (Chaos at home versus rigid life regimen. Free spirits will choose differently from neat freaks.)

• Your last year of browsing history made public, or your last month of thoughts broadcast to everyone you know? (Tabs or thoughts. Choose your humiliation.)

• Always tell the truth, with no omissions, or always lie and never say one true thing? (Awful at parties either way.)

• A world with no music, or a world with no colour? (Silence, or greyscale forever.)

• Everyone you know can read your thoughts, or everyone you know can see your full medical history forever? (Brain naked, or body paperwork naked.)

• Be known as someone who never washes, or as someone who is cruel and rude even though you secretly aren't? (Physical reputation versus character reputation: which matters more to you?)

To run these as a poll, pose the question and have everyone vote or pick a side. You'll see immediately whether it's a landslide or a dead split, and either way, expect instant justifications flying back and forth. The mock outrage when someone you thought you knew picks the "wrong" option is chef's kiss.

If you add drinks or dares, make the minority side take them. Check people are actually up for that first; nobody needs a tequila-based hostage situation.

How to Make Your Own Extreme Would You Rather Questions

After running through all of these, you might be brimming with your own twisted ideas. Here's how to make your own without accidentally writing something limp:

• Start with stuff people already dread. Public speaking, heights, bugs, needles, embarrassment, heartbreak, loneliness. Put two flinchy things in the same box. For public speaking plus embarrassment: "Mid-wedding speech, fly down and everyone notices, or total brain freeze while the room waits?" Make them choose which shudder they can live with.

• Make both sides hurt. Take one bad thing and give it two nasty shapes: hand or foot, spider or roach, friend or morals. If everyone instantly says "Oh, definitely A," the question is not cooked yet.

• Ruin a normal question. "Beach or mountains?" becomes "beach during a category 5 hurricane or mountains during a blizzard with no heating." "Funny or smart?" becomes "funny but you never read again, or smart but you never laugh again." A harmless choice gets much better once there is a cost.

• Aim at the room. Germaphobe present? Clean versus filthy. Hopeless romantic? Love versus money. People lean forward when the dilemma nicks something personal. Just do not jab at an actual wound; you want squirming, not damage.

• Mash two horrors together. Gross plus embarrassment: "Shit yourself at a crowded party, or wear someone else's dirty pants on your head all evening?" Moral plus survival: "Let a stranger die so you survive, or sacrifice yourself for them?" Two kinds of awful usually beat one.

• Weaponise time. "Itchy or cold?" is nothing. "Itchy forever or shivering forever?" is vile. Decide whether this should be a quick nightmare or a lifelong curse.

• Keep it playful. Even dark or dirty questions need a wink in the wording. "Trash shake" and "toilet lollipop" are disgusting, yes, but they are also funnier to say than the clinical version. Go slightly theatrical.

And remember: your game, your rules. Too extreme, soften it. Too tame, ruin it. If a better twist lands in your head mid-game, use it.

Right, you're armed. Go and ruin some friendships (temporarily) and scandalise some dinner parties. The best conversations I've ever had have started with someone saying "Okay, but would you rather...", then watching the whole room implode.

There are no right answers. Only revealing ones.