How to Sext: A Guide with Examples & Tips

Sexting Examples

Ready to put words to your dirty thoughts? Crafting a sexy text is an art, but you don't need an MFA in erotica to do it well. To help you out, here are a range of sexting examples for different moods. Use these as inspiration or tweak them to fit your style. Don't just copy and paste verbatim. Make sure it sounds like you.

1. Flirty and playful

Perfect for testing the waters or maintaining a sexy vibe through the day. These are suggestive but not graphically sexual, yet they get the point across. If you're struggling to find the right words, you might also explore dirty talk techniques to build your confidence:

• "I can't stop thinking about the way you kissed me this morning. My mind keeps wandering back to it... and getting very distracted."
• "Just so you know, I'm lying in bed wearing that underwear you like. Wish you were here to take it off... 😉"
• "You have no idea how sexy you looked to me last night. I've been replaying it in my head all day."

2. Setting a scene

These examples invite your partner to see and feel the scenario. Notice the use of present tense ("I slide my hands...", "you straddle me"). This makes the fantasy feel immediate and real, like it's unfolding right now.

• "If you were here right now, I'd push you against the wall, slowly kiss down your neck... and I wouldn't stop there."
• "I'm imagining us on the couch. You straddle me, I slide my hands under your shirt, and we forget all about the movie we were going to watch."
• "I wish I could teleport to you. The things I would do... I'd start by massaging your shoulders, then kissing lower... and lower... 😉"

3. Dirty talk and explicit desire

Once you're both warmed up, you might ramp up to more explicit language, if that's comfortable for both of you. Here you describe exactly what you want in raw, sexy terms. Some people find graphic words extremely hot (they want to hear "pussy", "cock", etc.), while others prefer euphemisms or sensual descriptions. Examples:

• "I'm so wet just thinking about you tasting me. I can't wait to feel your tongue on my pussy, teasing me slowly... 💦"
• "The thought of your cock in my mouth right now... I'm literally biting my lip. I want to make you moan my name."
• "I wish you were here so I could ride you until we're both shaking."
• "Do you know how badly I want to **** you right now? I want you bent over, begging for me." (Fill in the blank with your preferred verb, fuck, take, please, etc., depending on your dynamic.)

Also, not every sext has to be a literary masterpiece. Sometimes a single spicy emoji or a one-liner can hit hard. A well-placed "😈" or "🍆💦" can make your partner laugh and blush at the same time. An excited "God, I'm so turned on right now thinking of you" is simple but effective.

4. Sexts to make her horny

Notice these focus on her pleasure and her effect on you: you taste amazing, you drive me wild, I want to please you. It's incredibly arousing to know your partner is deeply excited by you and obsessed with making you feel good.

• "I keep fantasizing about slowly kissing every inch of your body... taking my time until you're trembling and pulling me closer."
• "I love how you taste. I could go down on you for hours and still not get enough of you."
• "Remember how you scratched my back when you came? I can't wait to feel that again. You drive me wild."

More sexting examples to copy

Sexting starters to open the conversation

A good opener asks something, or leaves a gap they can't resist filling.

1. "Quick question. What are you wearing right now? Asking for very selfish reasons."
2. "I just had a very distracting thought about you. Want to hear it?"
3. "Are you somewhere private? I want to tell you something I'd never say out loud."
4. "Rate how much you missed me today, 1 to 10. Then I'll tell you how much I missed you, and where."
5. "I'm in bed and I can't sleep. Guess whose fault that is."
6. "Tell me one thing you want me to do to you this weekend. Just one. I'll handle the rest."

Sexts for him

1. "I keep picturing your hands on my hips. You always know exactly how hard to grip."
2. "I'm going to kiss you so slowly tonight you'll forget your own name."
3. "I love the noise you make right before you come. I want to hear it again."
4. "Guess what I'm not wearing under this dress."
5. "When you get home, sit on the couch and don't move. I'm going to take my time with you."
6. "Tonight you're not allowed to touch me until I say. Let's see how long you last."
7. "You looked so good this morning I almost made us both late."

Sexts for her

1. "Wear the dress with the zip at the back tonight. I'm the only one allowed to open it."
2. "I can still smell your perfume on my shirt. It's driving me mad."
3. "Sit on the edge of the bed when I get in and keep your knees together. I want to be the one who parts them."
4. "Tell me where you want my mouth first. I'll start there and work my way down."
5. "You were so wet last time. I can't stop thinking about how you felt around my fingers."
6. "Your only job is to lie back and let me make you come. Twice, minimum."

Soft and romantic sexts

1. "I miss falling asleep with my face in your neck."
2. "Your name pops up on my phone and I grin like an idiot."
3. "Tonight I just want to kiss you for a long time and see where it goes."
4. "You make me feel wanted in a way nobody else has."
5. "I'm wearing your t-shirt in bed. It's not the same as having you here, but it's close."

Dirty and hardcore sexts

1. "I want to bend you over the kitchen counter and fuck you until your legs give out."
2. "I'm touching myself right now and saying your name."
3. "Tonight I want you to use me however you like. No holding back."
4. "I want to feel you come inside me and then do it all over again."
5. "Send me a picture of exactly where you want my tongue."
6. "I'm going to pin your wrists above your head and make you take every inch."
7. "When I walk in I want you on your knees with your mouth on me before I've taken my coat off."

Long distance sexts

1. "Count the nights until I see you. Now imagine what I'm doing to you on the first one."
2. "Put your phone on speaker, lie back, and do exactly what I type."
3. "I'm keeping a list of everything I want to do to you when you land. It's getting long."
4. "Call me before bed. I want to hear you breathing when you come."
5. "Your side of the bed is cold and I keep reaching for it."

First time sexting someone new

With a newer partner, keep it light and make it easy for them to say no or slow down.

1. "I've been wanting to flirt with you a bit more openly. Is that okay?"
2. "Fair warning, I'm about to say something a little naughty. Stop me if you want."
3. "That kiss outside the bar? Still thinking about it. Probably more than I should admit."
4. "I'm new to this and a bit shy, but you make me want to try."
5. "What's something you like hearing? I want to get it right."

Getting Kinkier: Kink Texts and BDSM Sexting

Sexting is a fantastic medium to explore BDSM dynamics and other kinks, especially because it gives you a safe, controlled environment to negotiate and play. You can role-play scenarios that might be difficult or impossible in real life, all through words. In fact, some couples find it easier to express taboo desires in writing. The screen gives a slight buffer that can free your inhibitions. That said, diving into BDSM sexting requires the same fundamentals as in-person kink: consent, communication, and trust. The power dynamics may be a turn-on, but both partners are always equal behind the scenes when it comes to agreeing on the play.

Embrace role-play and storylines

Sexting is essentially writing erotica together. This is your chance to indulge in elaborate role-play scenarios if you want. Always had a professor/student fantasy? Doctor/nurse? Two spies who get into a dangerous entanglement? Go for it. You can set the scene in a message: "Let's pretend I'm the strict professor and you're my favorite (naughty) student who'll do anything for extra credit…" 🎓😉. Or maybe, "Imagine I've captured you, and I have you tied to a chair in a dark basement… you hear my heels approach on the cold floor behind you." For more inspiration, explore our CNC roleplay scenarios or try one of our detailed femdom roleplay scripts.

Use BDSM lingo, or don't. Your choice

Part of the thrill for many is the power exchange vibe in kinky sexting. You might get off on using titles like Sir, Mistress, Daddy, slut, slave, etc. If those push your buttons, definitely integrate them into your texts. "Yes, Sir, I understand Sir" can immediately put you in a submissive headspace if you're the one typing it. Likewise, a dominant might order: "Strip. Now. Send me a pic within 2 minutes." A commanding text like that can make a sub's heart leap.

Texting as the sub

For submissives texting, your job is to let your Dom know you're eagerly engaging and to express how their words make you feel. It's all about tone and language that reflects surrender. Use polite, deferential words. Instead of "I want you to do X to me," a sub might say, "Please, will you do X to me, Sir? I've been so good..." or "I'm yours to command. Do whatever you want to me." The difference is subtle but powerful. For more phrases and techniques, check out our guide on submissive dirty talk. Phrases like "Yes, Sir/Ma'am," "I'm yours," or framing statements as "What would please you?" instantly set a submissive tone. For example, compare a normal text: "What do you want to do tonight?" with a subby text: "What would you like me to do for you tonight, Sir?" The latter clearly shows who's in charge. Find the flavor of submission that excites you, whether it's innocent and eager-to-please, or bratty and teasing (where you pretend to resist to get "forced").

Kinky sexting examples

Agree on limits first, as above. For gentler dominant lines that read well on a screen, our soft dom dirty talk scripts for texting have more of them. For both sides of a D/s chat, with tasks, a full scene script and check-ins, see our BDSM texts to send your dom or sub.

From the Dom:

• "Go to the bedroom. Kneel by the bed and text me when you're there."
• "No touching yourself until I get home. Tell me you understand."
• "Put your collar on and send me a photo. Then wait."
• "Good girl. You've earned a reward. Lie back and tell me what you want."

From the sub:

• "I've been good all day. Please may I touch myself, Sir?"
• "I'm on my knees like you told me. What next?"
• "I'm yours. Tell me what to do."

How to Respond to a Sext: Keeping the Momentum Going

So your partner just sent a real spicy sext, maybe a descriptive fantasy, a bold confession of what they want to do to you, or even a sexy photo. And now it's your turn to reply.

Sexting replies you can send back

1. "Keep going. I'm not stopping you."
2. "You can't just send me that while I'm at work."
3. "Say that again, but slower."
4. "I read that three times. Now I need you to come over."
5. "That's exactly what I want. Tell me what you'd do next."
6. "I'm blushing so hard right now. Don't stop."
7. "Holy ****. You look incredible... I can't even handle this picture right now 😩🔥."
8. "God, that scenario you painted... it's legitimately one of the hottest things I've ever read."
9. "Oh my god, that picture... I'm literally hard/wet just looking at it. You're stunning."
10. "Fuck, that text got me so hot I had to loosen my shirt... You really know how to push my buttons 😏."

First, read (or look) carefully and feel it

It might sound obvious, but in our flustered excitement we can sometimes miss details. If they wrote a paragraph, take a moment to really visualize what they described. If it's a sexy pic, luxuriate in it for a second. Imagine it's in front of you in real life. Being authentically awed or aroused is highly encouraging to the person who sexted you.

Remember, a sext is a bit vulnerable. The other person might be wondering, "Did I go too far? Do they like this? Are they bored?" So your job in responding is partly to reassure and reward them by showing appreciation. Even if you plan to get equally explicit in a moment, start by acknowledging what they sent. Think of it like positive feedback: "You have me so turned on with that message, I'm actually blushing." These kind of responses are gold because they encourage your partner to keep sharing and escalating.

Match their energy (and then build on it)

A good rule of thumb is: respond at a similar level of explicitness or intensity, and if possible, take it a step further or forward the action. If they send something mild and flirty, you don't typically jump to extremely graphic in one leap. You flirt back similarly, maybe a bit more daring to gently push the envelope. Conversely, if they dropped a hardcore sext, replying with something too tame can deflate things. For instance, if they write "I want to bend you over the bed and take you until you scream my name," a lukewarm answer like "hehe, that sounds fun 😇" probably isn't cutting it.

Use emotional reactions and encouragement

Sometimes, especially if the sext was really good, you might be initially at a loss for words. It's okay to start your reply with a visceral reaction: "Oh my god...", "Wow, you've got me speechless.", "🔥🔥🔥" (the emoji says it all). These convey that you're impressed or extremely turned on. You can then follow up with more words once you gather yourself.

If you're truly stuck, use mirroring or emojis. Maybe you receive a sext that just knocks you out and you don't know what to say at all. Instead of panicking and leaving them in awkward silence, mirror part of what they said with a question or add "I want that": e.g. they say "I'd bend you over the desk and spank you until you're dripping." You can simply reply "'Until I'm dripping...', oh god yes, please."

Finally, embrace the fun. Sexting is meant to be pleasurable and playful. If you respond with your genuine arousal, appreciation, and imagination, you really can't "do it wrong."