How to Use a Suction Dildo

Before You Start: Choose a Body-Safe Toy in the Right Size

Before you start suctioning things to furniture, choose the toy. The wrong dildo can turn an afternoon into a wince.

Pick a body-safe material. I want 100% medical-grade silicone (glass and stainless steel are also good but less common with suction cup bases). If you want the full rundown on porous materials, phthalates, and what to avoid, see choosing a body-safe dildo. Vague material listing? Red flag. Walk away.

Start with a size you're comfortable with. Especially while you're also negotiating with a wall-mounted silicone cock, my boring starting point would be roughly 1 to 1.5 inches across. Tristan Taormino's advice is the unglamorous stuff that saves the session: start small, use plenty of lube, and go slow.

Think about shape and features. A curved dildo can be great for G-spot or prostate stimulation depending on the angle you mount it at. Realistic textures (veins, a pronounced head) add sensation that some people love and others find too much; that's entirely personal. Look at the suction cup too: a wide, thick base is less likely to abandon you. As for vibration, most suction dildos are non-vibrating, and for getting started that's fine. You can always hold a vibrator against yourself externally.

Here's the test: when you're holding the toy, you should feel nosy in a good way. Maybe a little nervous. Not dread. If your body does a silent little no, believe it and go smaller.

Clean the Toy, Gather Your Lube, and Prep Your Body

Toy acquired. Before it goes anywhere interesting, do the boring prep.

Wash it first. A new toy needs a wash before first use; get the shaft, cup, and texture, then pat dry. Dust and skin oil make the seal sulk.

Park the lube where your hand can find it. You need lube, especially if you're going hard, or going anal. On silicone toys, use water-based lube. Have the bottle open and nearby. Fumbling with a lube cap when your hands are slippery is its own circle of hell.

Keep lube away from the suction cup itself. Lube on the base means the toy slides off the surface mid-use. Apply lube to the shaft and to your body after the toy is mounted and stuck. Not before.

Relax and get yourself in the mood. Do not treat this like a race to get penetrated. Arousal is practical, not decorative: insertion is easier, your body responds better, and the whole thing is just better when you're turned on rather than grimly determined. Use hands, a vibrator, whatever works. Anal on the menu? Start with a lubed finger or small plug.

Condom rule: anus then vagina in the same session means the toy gets covered. You do not want anal bacteria going anywhere near a vagina. Pop the condom on after the toy is mounted, since the suction cup needs direct contact with the surface to grip.

The Best Surfaces for a Strong Suction Hold

Your best friend is a smooth, flat, non-porous surface. If the cup can seal, the toy stays. If it can't, you get that horrible mid-thrust pop.

Tile and glass are your best options. Bathroom tiles, shower walls, mirrors. These usually grip well. Mosaic tiles are useless if the cup crosses a load of grout lines. You want one clean flat patch, base-width or wider.

Smooth hard floors can work for floor-level positions. Hardwood, laminate, polished concrete, lino: all plausible. Sweep first. Dust can ruin the seal. Also: knees. Use a towel or yoga mat.

Bathtub and shower floors can work if the bottom is smooth. Water and penetration can be lovely. Wet feet plus lube gets stupid fast. Non-slip mat, one hand on something solid.

Countertops and desks. A sturdy kitchen counter or bathroom vanity at the right height works well for backing onto the toy. Heavy, stable surfaces are what you're after. A wobbly side table is not.

Hard-seated chairs and stools. A flat wooden or plastic chair seat works well: stick the dildo to it, push the chair against a wall so it can't slide, and straddle. Bar stools, shower stools, even a closed toilet lid will work. Fair warning though: hovering over a chair-mounted dildo is just doing squats. As one forum user put it, it "really does kill your thighs after a while."

Where Not to Stick It (Surfaces to Avoid)

Porous or rough materials. Stucco, brick, rough plaster, textured wallpaper, wood panelling, unsealed wood, rough concrete, fabric. These let air through and prevent a vacuum from forming. If you wouldn't stick a suction-cup shower hook to it, a dildo won't stick either.

Painted drywall. Strong suction can peel paint, especially if you pull the toy off at an angle. And flakes of eggshell paint on your toy or your skin aren't anyone's idea of a good time.

Anything unstable. Anything that can wobble is plotting against you: light chair, freestanding shelf, tray on a bed. If it can move, tip, or slide, assume it will, and at the exact wrong second. Heavy, anchored surfaces only.

Unsecured glass or mirrors. Do not press your body weight and a suction cup into a window. You do not need structural risk or an accidental audience. Glass has to be thick, fixed, and private. Otherwise leave it alone.

Soapy shower surfaces. Rinse soap residue off before you mount the toy. Soap is worse than water here. A damp cup can grip; a soapy wall becomes a luge track. Some people find it's best to stick the toy up before the shower is running, then keep the stream away from the suction cup during use.

Blunt version: no full seal, no stable setup, no ride.

How to Mount a Suction Dildo So It Stays Put

Clean and dry both the surface and the suction cup. Dust alone is enough to make it sulk, so wipe both down. A barely damp cup can grip better, but too much water and it skates; aim for a sheen, not a puddle.

Press the air out. Press the middle hard, then work outward toward the edge so the trapped air has somewhere to go. What works for me is laying one edge of the cup down first, then rolling the rest flat the way you'd seat a screen protector. The fewer little air pockets, the less likely it is to betray you.

Count to five before you trust it. Leave your hand there for five to ten seconds. A tiny twist can help the seal bite. Twist too hard and you'll peel it back off.

Yank-test it. Every time. Once you think it's stuck, tug it. Pull it the way it'll actually be pulled during use: upward if you're riding from above, sideways if you're pushing back against a wall mount. If it pops off or wobbles, remount. Find out now, not when you're mid-stride and building towards something.

Adjust the angle. Depending on the position, you might want the toy tilted slightly. On a wall, some suction cups allow a bit of angle. On a floor, the toy points straight up and you adjust with your own body positioning. If it's not quite right, pull it off and restick. You get faster at this.

Keep the force in line with the toy. A suction cup resists a straight pull away from the surface but gives up the instant force peels it from one edge. If it's on the floor, vertical bouncing is solid; kicking it sideways will peel the edge. On a wall, pushing straight back into it works; angling sharply will start to break the seal. If you feel the base edge lifting during use, pause and press it back down.

When it falls off, and it will, just laugh. It happens to everyone. The toy detaches, possibly fires across the room, and you're left there in a position that nobody would describe as dignified. With company, make it part of the bit. Alone, swear at the wall, wipe the cup, and stick it back on. It is not a spiritual failure. It is silicone with a plunger attached.

How to Use Lube Without Ruining the Suction

Lube the shaft, not the cup. Once the toy is mounted and tested, be generous with the insertable part. Apply to your body too: vaginal opening, anus, wherever it's going. But keep it away from where the base meets the surface. If lube sneaks under the cup, the seal is done. With wall mounts especially, extra lube slides down toward the exact place you were trying to keep dry. Go slowly. Use a tissue at the base if it helps.

Pick the right lube for the setting. In the shower, try a thicker gel if the runny stuff keeps vanishing. Oil is out: bad for silicone, bad with condoms. Flavoured and warming lubes can stay external.

Keep a towel within reach. Once your hands are lubed, everything you touch becomes suspicious, including the suction cup and the tile you were counting on for balance.

Reapply without sabotaging the mount. When things start feeling dry, and they will, especially during longer sessions or anal play, add more lube to the shaft from the top so excess runs down toward you rather than toward the base. If the toy's on the floor, it can be easier to lift yourself off entirely, reapply, and lower back down.

Manage the mess. Lube plus enthusiastic movement equals lube everywhere. I lay a towel around a floor-mounted toy to catch drips and prevent the surrounding area becoming a skating rink. Stepping in a puddle of lube post-session and nearly doing the splits is a lesson you only need once.

Beginner Positions That Give You the Most Control

Start with positions where you control the depth, the speed, and the angle. I know "start slow" sounds like cautious, boring advice, but these positions are hot in their own right. They're not training wheels. I still come back to them regularly.

1. Floor Riding: The One Most People Try First

This is the obvious first experiment: toy on hard floor, knees over it, body lowering at its own pace. You can take just the tip. You can take the lot. You stop the instant something doesn't feel right, just by lifting up. It's the most intuitive way to use these toys.

Once you're on it, you've got options. Kneel and rock your hips back and forth, which is less strenuous and great for grinding. Or plant your feet in a squat and bounce, for deeper thrusts, but your thighs will have opinions about it. One forum user was honest about that: "it will give your legs a work out if you use it in certain positions." Don't be surprised if you need breaks. Alternate between active thrusting and simply holding it deep inside you, squeezing, catching your breath.

Leaning forward versus sitting upright changes the angle of penetration, so play with that. If you have a vulva, grinding down onto the base can provide clitoral stimulation at the same time.

2. Chair or Couch Edge: Semi-Seated Control

If kneeling on a hard floor isn't working for you, try a chair. Stick the dildo to a hard chair seat, shove the chair against a wall so it can't skitter away, then stand over it and lower yourself down. Need height? Use a firm cushion under you, never between the suction cup and the chair.

Once seated, keep the movements small at first: a rock, a grind, a tiny lift. Facing backwards and holding the top of the backrest gives you something to push against, and your hands are free for whatever else you want them doing.

3. Missionary with a Twist: Lying Down with the Dildo Mounted

This takes a bit more creativity, but it means you get to lie down, which has its obvious appeal.

One approach: stick the dildo on the floor beside a low bed, lie on the edge with your hips aligned to the toy, prop up with a pillow if needed, and use your legs to move your pelvis. It's basically a bridge exercise, except you'll actually want to do this one.

The other approach: suction cups won't stick to soft bedding, obviously, but they will stick to a smooth hard surface laid on the bed. A plastic tray, a smooth cutting board, or a purpose-made mount all work. One Lovehoney forum user stuck their dildo to a large plastic tray, placed it on the bed, and kneeled on cushions around it. Not the most elegant engineering, but it works. If you find you love in-bed suction play, purpose-built mounts and sex furniture exist for exactly this.

4. Shallow Grinding (No Gold Star for Taking the Whole Thing)

You do not have to take the full length. I feel like this needs saying because there's a weird unspoken pressure to go deep every time, and it's nonsense. Just the first couple of inches, with slow circular hip movements, can feel incredible, with the head rubbing the G-spot area near the entrance while your movements provide indirect clitoral stimulation. It's a great warm-up, and it's also a complete session in itself if that's what you're in the mood for.

The common thread: you set the pace. The toy cannot suddenly decide to thrust harder. It goes as deep as you move onto it, which is exactly why suction dildos are useful if penetrative toys are new to you, or if you simply like being in charge of your own pleasure.

Your hands are free in every one of these positions. Put them to work. Bullet vibrator, nipples, grab onto something, whatever you want.

Wall, Shower, and Headboard Positions for Different Angles

Once you've got the basics down, vertical surfaces open up different angles. Doggy style, standing, against the wall. These positions can reach spots that floor-based riding just doesn't.

1. Doggy-Style Against the Wall

This is a favourite for a reason. Mount the dildo on a wall at roughly the height your hips sit when you're on all fours, usually a bit lower than your standing hip line. Lay padding down for your knees. This isn't optional; as one forum member wisely noted, "I would always suggest using a pillow to help soften the pressure on your knees/elbows etc."

Get into position, back up to the toy, and guide it in with your hand. Then push back and forth with your hips. Stay shallow for the first dozen strokes until you find the angle that lands. Arching your back, belly toward the floor, angles the dildo upward internally, which is good for G-spot or prostate stimulation. Rounding your back shifts the angle deeper. I love this position because it's intense. Facing away from the toy, being penetrated from behind, bracing against the floor and really pushing back into it. It's primal.

2. Shower or Door: Standing, Bracing, Grinding

Mount the dildo on a shower wall, a door, or another smooth vertical surface. Height is the entire game here: hip height for backing onto it standing, lower if you're squatting or hiking one leg up.

In the shower, put down a mat with grip. I mean it. This is not the place to be cavalier about your footing. One user mentioned using a shower stool to brace their hands on while backing onto a shower-door-mounted dildo, which is smart. Mount the toy before you turn the water on, and keep the stream away from the suction cup during use. Water running between the cup and the wall can break the seal.

On doors: check the door won't swing open. Lock it, wedge it, trap it with a towel if you have to. Face the door and brace your hands against it, or face away and lean your back into it while you move your hips. A solid door gives you something to push against, which is half the appeal.

For headboards: kneel on the bed facing the headboard, then push back onto the dildo. Your knees get the soft surface for once, and the top of the headboard gives you leverage.

3. Creative Height Adjustments

The toy can't adjust to you, so the room has to. A stool, a folded towel, a yoga block, anything stable that raises or lowers your position relative to the dildo. You are trying to meet the toy without craning or twisting.

4. Watch Your Angles

These positions can put strain on your body in ways that floor-based riding doesn't. Arching hard to take a wall-mounted toy tires your lower back. Felicity from Phallophile Reviews was refreshingly honest about this: "arching my shoulders back while I'm [f***ing] the wall isn't the easiest thing."

If something hurts in a non-fun way, stop there. Add padding, change the height, try something else. Not every position works for every body. Wall-mounted doggy style might not be for you. Floor cowgirl might be everything. Good. We are not handing out medals for suffering.

Using a Suction Dildo with a Partner

Everything above has been solo, but suction dildos work just as well with a partner, and from what couples tell us through the BeMoreKinky app, the hands-free angle is half the appeal.

The obvious one: one person rides or backs onto the mounted dildo while the other watches, touches, kisses, does whatever they like to the rest of the body. The toy is doing the penetrating, so nobody's hands are busy holding anything. Do the maths on what you can do with four free hands.

A few scenarios that work particularly well:

Oral while riding. One person straddles a floor-mounted dildo while the other kneels or lies in front. The rider gets penetration and oral at the same time. If you haven't tried this, do. The partner giving oral can also control the pace by holding the rider's hips, guiding them down onto the toy or pulling them forward.

Simulated threesome. Mount the dildo on a wall at the right height. One person backs onto it doggy-style while the other positions themselves in front, for oral, for kissing, for eye contact, for whatever you want. It is still two people, but the toy adds another point of sensation. Sometimes that is exactly the filthy little mathematics you were after.

Strap-on alternative. If one partner wants to penetrate the other but doesn't have or want to wear a strap-on, a wall- or floor-mounted suction dildo does the job. The penetrated partner controls their own depth and angle by moving onto the toy, while the other partner is free to touch, kiss, hold, watch, or give oral. It dodges the harness mechanics while keeping the intimacy.

Power play. If you enjoy any element of D/s in the bedroom, and if you've read much of this site, you know I do, a mounted suction dildo is fun to play with. The dominant partner positions the toy, tells the submissive how to use it, controls the pace with their voice, much like the obedience dynamics in brat taming, adds whatever other stimulation they fancy while the sub rides. The toy becomes an instrument of someone else's will, even though nobody's touching it. Being told to ride, or watching someone obey that instruction… it adds something a handheld toy just can't.

Communication matters here even more than solo. Check in about angle, depth, pace. The person on the toy may look like they're struggling when they're actually blissed out, or look calm while the angle is wrong. Ask out loud. Answer honestly.

Anal Play: Extra Considerations

Everything in this guide applies to anal use, but anal has its own rules. Ignore them and you will get hurt. I'm not going to sugarcoat this section.

The flared base is non-negotiable. I said this earlier but it bears repeating specifically for anal: never insert anything into your anus that doesn't have a flared base. The rectum, unlike the vagina, has no natural stopping point, so a toy without a flare can be drawn inward by the muscle contractions of orgasm and migrate up into the colon, which means emergency removal rather than a fun evening. The built-in flare is one reason suction toys suit anal, but only if the base is genuinely wider than the widest part of the shaft: look for at least an inch of overhang, not the token lip some cheaper toys pass off as a base. No thanks.

Warm up properly. The anus doesn't self-lubricate and the tissue is more delicate than vaginal walls. Start with a well-lubed finger. Then maybe two. Then a small plug if you have one. Then the dildo. Rushing this is how people end up with pain, tearing, or a bad enough experience that they write the whole thing off forever.

Use a frankly silly amount of lube. Anal tissue steals lube fast; slippery can turn sandpapery in under a minute. Reapply often. A thicker water-based gel tends to hang around better than the thin, runny stuff.

Slow is not optional for anal. Pain is not a challenge mode. Pressure and fullness can be normal, and often part of the appeal. Sharp pain, burning, or that internal little "nope" means stop. Pull off, add more lube, try a different angle, or call it a day.

Clean up carefully. If you've used the toy anally, wash it thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap before using it anywhere else. Better yet, use a condom on the toy for anal and simply remove it afterwards. Do not bring anal bacteria to a vagina. Boring sentence, very real consequence.

Positioning for anal. A floor mount is often easiest because you can lower down millimetre by millimetre and bail instantly. Wall-mounted doggy style can work better later, once the angle makes sense to your body, as it does with anal hook play. Try things slowly. Add lube early.

Safety, Aftercare, and Cleanup

During play:

If a sensation turns from hot to pain, stop. More lube, a different angle, a different position, or done for the day.

Check the suction periodically if you're being vigorous. If the edge is lifting, it is warning you. Pause and stick it back down before physics gets involved.

Shower maths: wet floor + lube + horny confidence = arse on tile. Use a non-slip mat. Grab bars help if you have them.

After play:

Wash the toy with warm water and mild soap, pat it dry, and store it somewhere dust-free (cleaning and storing your toy).

While you're inspecting it, check the cup for cracks, little tears, or a warped edge. A damaged cup loses its grip, and cracked silicone is where grime hides.

Look after yourself too. A little soreness after a vigorous session is normal, but soreness that hangs around, unusual discharge, bleeding, or irritation means see a doctor. Aftercare looks different for solo play, but checking in with yourself still matters.

Last Bit

The learning curve is real but short. You'll fumble the first few times. Wrong height, weak suction, lube where it shouldn't be, thighs burning after two minutes. That's normal. Everyone has a detachment story. You swear, wipe, restick, carry on.

Start where you control the depth; branch out if you want. Or don't. If floor cowgirl remains your whole thing, excellent. There are no levels to unlock here. There's just you, working out what feels good.