How to Dominate a Man: Complete Guide to Femdom Confidence

Dominating a man in the bedroom is an adventure in trust, playfulness, and mutual pleasure. If you're curious about assuming the dominant role, know that you're far from alone.

In fact, power-exchange fantasies are extremely common: about 53% of men have fantasized about being sexually submissive (www.theatlantic.com)! That confident guy who leads at work might secretly crave letting go of control after hours.

At its core, domination is not about being cruel or heartless. It's about consensual power play where both partners feel safe and turned on.

As famed sex educator Midori puts it, "BDSM is childhood joyous play with adult sexual privilege and cool toys", mixing imagination with eroticism (xtramagazine.com). In other words, it's meant to be fun, sensual, and entirely consensual.

In this guide, we'll explore step by step how to dominate a man, from understanding what male submissives really crave, to building your confidence, talking the talk, and bringing it all together with effective physical techniques.

By the end, you'll see that dominating your man isn't about being a "leather-clad caricature". You don't have to bark orders or crack a whip if that's not you. True dominance can be sensual, playful, empowering, and uniquely tailored to both of your desires (medium.com).

So, ready to awaken your inner Domme (or Dom)? Let's dive in.

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Want to practice your dominant commands and explore power dynamic phrases? The BeMoreKinky app offers over 60 soft femdom and praise phrases you can try, plus guidance on positions, verbal affirmations, and building your confident dominant voice through real activities.

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Understanding Male Submission and What Men Crave

Before you can effectively dominate your boyfriend (or husband, male play partner, etc.), it helps to understand why many men find submission so enticing.

Society might condition men to be leaders and aggressors, but behind closed doors a lot of guys are eager to hand over the reins, at least for a little while.

And it's not because they're "weak" or "unmanly." In fact, male submission often has nothing to do with a lack of masculinity. It's about the relief and thrill of surrendering control in a safe, erotic context.

Consider this perspective from one male redditor, a 6'7" self-described "tough guy" who secretly enjoys being dominated: "I like getting humiliation and being submissive in bed from time to time. I enjoy when a girl makes me their 'bitch' in bed. But since I'm huge and seen as a real tough guy, many girls find it weird and don't want to do it. I told one girl I wanted to try it and she laughed, thinking I was joking." (rareddit.com)

This man's experience highlights a big reason male subs may hesitate to voice their fantasies: fear of judgment or rejection. Deep down, though, his craving to be "made into a bitch" (in a consensual way) is a common fantasy, not an odd outlier. Cultural myths might say "real men should always be dominant," but clearly many real men long to submit if given the chance without ridicule.

So, what do submissive men actually want from a dominant partner? A wonderful description by a female dominant known as Vixxen illustrates this duality.

She explains that her submissive men "want to be seen as whole people, with weird kinks, with needs, with contradictions. They want you to see the part of them that wants to be objectified and nurtured. The part that craves humiliation but panics if they think you might mean it. The part that dreams of being your human footstool while you ignore them for an hour, but also wants you to look up halfway through and say, 'I'm proud of you.'" (medium.com)

In other words, your guy might get wildly turned on by you calling him a "naughty boy" or making him beg, as long as at the end of the day, he knows you still respect and value him. Submissive men often get off on feeling "used" yet cherished at the same time.

Reality Check: Being a dominant partner does not mean viewing your man with real disdain or treating him poorly outside of your agreed scenes. Dominance in BDSM is a role, a spicy form of make-believe you both indulge in for mutual pleasure (xtramagazine.com).

The submissive's vulnerability is a gift of trust, and a good Dom/Domme will honor that trust. As one BDSM enthusiast on Reddit put it: "To me, the sub gives his submission, and the Dom gives their care and protection. All the wacky shit a Dom might do is to get the sub into subspace. If a Dom fails to care about the sub, or fails to protect the sub from unwanted harm, the entire framework is broken." (rareddit.com)

In consensual domination, no one truly "loses" power. You exchange it. He surrenders to you, and you in turn keep him safe, valued, and satisfied.

They might have fetishes for being tied up, spanked, called dirty names, or made to serve their queen, fantasies that let them explore vulnerability or relief from always being in charge.

There's a reason powerful businessmen are famous for secretly hiring dominatrices to spank or peg them. It's an intense release from the pressure of always being in control.

As clinical research confirms, dominance and submission fantasies aren't "deviant" at all but very common turn-ons for men and women alike (www.theatlantic.com) (www.theatlantic.com).

Building Your Dominant Confidence

Maybe you're intrigued by dominating your man, but a voice in your head whispers, "Can I really pull this off? I'm not exactly a whip-wielding latex-clad mistress..."

Good news: You don't have to be! Dominance comes in many flavors, and you can absolutely find a style that fits you.

You already have the power. It's about owning it in your interactions.

Still, it's normal to feel a bit nervous or self-conscious at first. Many first-time dominants (especially women taught to "be nice" their whole lives) worry about "doing it wrong" or feeling silly in a dominant role.

As one dominatrix-turned-coach confessed, "I started quietly. Hesitant. Careful, like a woman tiptoeing into her power and wondering if the floor would hold." (medium.com) Over time, she found that it did hold, and each confident step made the next one easier.

Here are some practical tips for building your dominant confidence:

• Redefine Dominance for Yourself: Take a moment to banish any one-dimensional stereotypes from your mind. Maybe you'll be playful and flirty, or strict and teasingly cruel, or a mix. It's your dance to lead.

  If you're drawn to a gentler approach, explore soft femdom to discover how nurturing dominance can be just as powerful. Remind yourself: "I don't have to perform power. I already have it." Say it in the mirror; it's a great affirmation to internalize (medium.com).

• Start with Small Power Moves: You don't need to plan an elaborate 3-hour dungeon scene right off the bat. Begin by asserting yourself in tiny ways during everyday life or vanilla intimacy, to flex that dominance muscle.

  For example, practice initiating physical contact on your terms: kiss him without warning, guide his body where you want it, or grab a fistful of his shirt when you want his attention. Even simply telling him, "Sit down. I'm going to take care of you tonight," in a confident tone can be a turn-on for both of you.

• Create a "Domme Ritual": A helpful trick from BDSM experts is to have a tangible ritual or symbol that signals you're entering your dominant role. In their classic guide The New Topping Book, Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy suggest using a specific object or routine to mark when a scene starts, for example, placing a collar around your sub's neck, or even something as simple as putting on a particular piece of jewelry (xtramagazine.com).

• Educate and Inspire Yourself: Take time to learn about BDSM and dominance techniques (the fact that you're reading this is a great start!). There are wonderful resources: books, workshops, online communities, where seasoned dominants share tips. For comprehensive guidance, check out our beginner's guide to femdom.

  Midori, a famed BDSM educator, encourages budding tops to "read a lot of smut as research. See what makes you go tingly...to help narrow down the kind of feels you want." (xtramagazine.com) In other words, consume erotica: read sexy femdom stories, watch ethical kink porn, listen to femdom audio erotica.

• Practice Assertive Communication: "I might blush, but I mean what I say." The more you step into this role, the more natural it will become.

Finally, know that Dominance is an art you'll keep refining. In short, it's not the fancy toys or extreme acts that make you a Dominant. It's the confidence and care behind your actions. And you are absolutely capable of that.

How to Be More Dominant in Bed

Now that we've bolstered your mindset, let's get into the nitty-gritty of dominating your man in the bedroom. Being dominant in bed means actively taking the lead during sex and sensual play, setting the tone, pace, and agenda of the encounter.

The common denominator is that you are in the driver's seat, and he's along for the thrilling ride.

Here are some strategies on how to be more dominant in bed, whether it’s your first time or you’re upping the intensity:

• Initiate and Lead: Dominance often begins before any clothes come off. Take initiative to start sexual encounters sometimes.

  For example, you might whisper in his ear while he's doing dishes, "Tonight, you're mine," then later push him onto the bed when you're ready to begin. Guide him into the position you want. Many men find it incredibly sexy when a woman confidently "grabs the reins" like this (www.rareddit.com) (www.rareddit.com).

• Use Body Language and Eye Contact: You can even practice a particular "dominant look" in the mirror (think a slight smirk or a raised eyebrow that says I'm in charge). These physical signals reinforce the dynamic: you're the boss, he's the yielding one.

• Set the Rules (Even Small Ones): An easy way to exude dominance is to establish a rule or two for the bedroom. For example, you might tell him, "You don't get to touch me unless I say so." Or, "Tonight, I'm calling the shots. You will address me as Ma'am and ask permission before you cum."

  The specific rule depends on your style. It could be formal ("Yes, Mistress" type protocol) or more casual ("No speaking until I finish with you"). For more structured dynamics, explore high protocol BDSM. The key is that he has to follow your guidelines.

• Take Your Time, Tease and Deny: One classic dominant move is tease and denial. This means you deliberately build up his arousal and then withhold satisfaction to emphasize your control. Explore orgasm denial techniques to deepen this dynamic.

  You could also make him perform oral sex on you and forbid him from touching himself, effectively driving him wild while he can't relieve the ache. As one Reddit user advised women, "I like when a woman takes some action and initiative... I wanna be teased, touched, caressed and explored." (www.rareddit.com) (www.rareddit.com)

  Most men will find the slow, confident pacing extremely arousing (even if it's delicious torture). Pro tip: Make sure to give him some positive payoff eventually. Tease/deny works best when he earns a mind-blowing release at the end (or during a later session) as a reward.

• Incorporate Power Positions: Certain sex positions naturally lend themselves to you being in control. The simplest is the cowgirl position with a twist: pin his wrists down on the bed as you straddle him. This literally puts you on top physically. You can hold his hands above his head (or even tie them to the headboard with something like a soft tie or strap, more on bondage in the next section).

  Another commanding position is face-sitting (you sit on his face for oral). For comprehensive techniques and psychology behind this powerful act, explore our facesitting femdom guide, or see specific facesitting positions for detailed techniques.

  Not only is it intensely pleasurable for you, but it's the ultimate symbolic way to put him "beneath" you. If you try this, you can hold his head in place and grind to the level you enjoy, while perhaps saying, "Be a good boy and don't stop until I say."

  Similarly, taking him from behind (with a strap-on or even just using your hands/toys on him) places you in a "traditionally male" position of penetrating/controlling motion, a huge psychological turn-on switch for many submissive men. Choose positions that make you feel powerful and him delightfully helpless or at your mercy.

• Stay in Character (But Stay Connected): Establish clear safe words and communication signals before you begin. (Some couples use the traffic light system: "green" = all good, "yellow" = close to limit, "red" = stop now).

Above all, remember to have fun with it. A playful Dominant who still follows through on being in charge can be just as sexy as a super-serious Dominant.

Verbal Domination: Using Your Voice and Words

One of your most potent tools as a Dominant is your voice. The words you choose and how you say them can send shivers down his spine and cement the power dynamic.

Many submissive men are highly responsive to verbal domination, be it seductive whispers, firm commands, degrading talk, or loving affirmations of your control.

Setting the Tone: Sometimes a quiet, stern "...now." at the end of a command, or a soft chuckle when he whimpers, can be incredibly effective. Volume isn't as important as intention. Even a whisper can feel like a shout in his ears if it carries dominance.

Dominant Language: What should you actually say to dominate your man? This will depend on your dynamic and what types of dirty talk turn you both on. For extensive phrase lists and scripts, check out our femdom dirty talk guide and soft femdom dirty talk phrases. Here are a few categories of dominant talk, with examples:

• Commands and Instructions: Telling him what to do is a clear way to assert control. Start with simple, explicit instructions, and use a confident tone. For example: "Take off your clothes. Now." / "Kneel here, facing me." / "Stay exactly like that until I say you can move."

  Short, specific directives work well. You can also direct how he should please you: "Lick my boots." / "Touch me here, no, slower." or even "Beg me for it if you want it." One expert suggests practicing one strong line at a time. Vixxen recommends writing down a few phrases you want to use and rehearsing if needed: e.g. "Lie down. I'm not done with you." or "Don't touch yourself unless I say." or "Take off your shirt and wait for me."* (medium.com)*.

• Names and Honorifics: Many dommes call their subs terms like "good boy," "pet," "slave," "baby," etc. A well-timed "Good boy" when he obeys a command can flood a sub with pride and excitement (shibbydex.com).

  On the naughtier side, you can use derogatory names if that's part of your kink – e.g. "my slut," "little plaything," "naughty boy." Be sure your partner is okay with any insult-type names before you use them (some subs love it, others might have sensitivities).

  When in doubt, stick to relatively mild ones like "bad boy" or explicit-but-sexy ones like "my filthy slut" said with a grin. Pro tip: tone matters – "You filthy slut" can sound playful and hot if purred lovingly, or truly cruel if barked with anger. Gauge what works for your relationship. Many couples find a mix of praise and teasing degradation is perfect: e.g. "Such a naughty boy… you please me so well."

• Erotic Threats/Promises: Part of the fun of being dominated is the anticipation of what the Dom will do next. Or try "Keep licking until I'm satisfied, or you won't be allowed to cum tonight." These kinds of lines make it clear that you are in control of outcomes. On the flip side, you can dangle rewards too: "Be a good boy for me and I might let you orgasm." It's essentially the Dom version of carrot-and-stick. Just ensure you follow through, whether it's delivering that playful "punishment" or granting a reward, so your words have weight.

• Descriptive Domination (Narrate the Scene): Another technique is verbally reinforcing the scenario as it happens. This can be softer and very hypnotic. For example, during a scene you might murmur, "Look at you, on your knees for me. You love giving up control, don't you?" or "I have you tied so tight. You're completely helpless, baby."

  This kind of running commentary can intensify his submissive headspace by constantly reminding him of the power dynamic. It's also a way to check in emotionally: "I know you'll take whatever I give you, because you trust me." Lines like that build trust and arousal simultaneously.

  A quote from a kink educator Jack Morin comes to mind: many people's peak turn-ons involve "searching for power" in some form (psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com) (psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com). By narrating how you are actively taking power, you're scratching that erotic itch in his psyche.

• Praise and Deeper Emotion: Dominance doesn't mean you have to be 100% strict or mean (unless you both enjoy that). In many D/s relationships, a Dominant will use praise and affection as much as punishment.

  Telling your man, "Good boy" when he obeys, or "You're doing so well, I'm proud of you," can melt his heart and make him eager to please you even more (medium.com). Submissives often thrive on knowing they've pleased their Dominant.

  Even if your roleplay involves you acting a bit cold or demanding, consider ending the scene or reaching breaks with some loving words. For instance: after an intense moment, you could gently say, "That's my good boy – you took everything I gave you."

A quick note on volume and privacy: If you have roommates or thin walls and don't want to alarm anyone with your dominatrix lines, you can absolutely dominate largely in a hushed voice. Lean close to his ear and whisper the filthiest orders; it can be even sexier than yelling.

Whispered commands force him to strain to listen, which is very controlling in its own way. (Plus, it keeps nosy neighbors oblivious!). Alternatively, you can gag him or instruct him to be quiet on his end to minimize noise – even the act of muffling his sounds with your hand can be part of the power play.

Lastly, remember to listen as well. Verbal domination is a two-way street in that you should encourage feedback when appropriate. During aftercare (more on that soon), ask him what words really turned him on or if anything you said didn't sit right.

Everyone has different triggers. For example, he might discover being called "dirty slut" flicks a switch in him (positive or negative) – good to know! Over time, you'll develop a personalized "vocabulary" of domination that reliably works for you both.

Physical Domination Techniques

• Restraint and Bondage: There's nothing like a bit of bondage to make a man feel dominated. Start with our beginner's bondage guide and explore bondage equipment.

  If full bondage intimidates you, try positionary bondage: order him to hold a certain position ("keep your arms behind your back" or "don't close your legs") and use a prop like a spreader bar or just his willpower to maintain it. For more advanced techniques, explore Shibari rope bondage.

  Covering his eyes (with a blindfold or even a tie) immediately makes him feel vulnerable and heightens all other sensations. Plus, he doesn't know what you'll do next, which is delightfully disorienting for him (and fun for you!).

• Impact Play (Spanking & More): Many submissive guys fantasize about a dominant partner inflicting a little pain, within their limits, pain turns to pleasure. The simplest form is spanking. Master the techniques with our femdom spanking guide and OTK spanking guide.

  For starters, a few firm slaps on his butt, thighs, or even lightly across the face (if both of you are into face-slapping, note this can be emotionally heavy, so negotiate first!) can establish dominance. Observe his responses; a moan, arching toward you, or a submissive "Thank you, may I have another?" are good signs he's loving it.

  Choose your impact areas carefully (meaty parts like butt and upper back are safer; avoid kidneys, spine, face unless you know what you're doing) and increase intensity gradually. Impact play done right can send him into subspace (that floaty blissed-out state), so keep an eye on him and follow with gentle aftercare.

• Power Play with Positions and Pressure: Use your body to assert physical dominance. For example, pinning is a fantastic technique: pin him against the wall with your body, or pin him to the bed by holding his wrists down as mentioned, or even just pressing a hand firmly on his chest and saying "Stay."

  You can also mount him in a way that restricts movement, sitting on his chest or straddling his legs so he can't close them. Many subs love a bit of hair-pulling dominance. Pro tip: Pair physical control with verbal commands for maximum effect (e.g., pin his arms and growl "Don't move those, understood?" or hold his jaw and say "Open your mouth" before you slide your finger in).

  You essentially become the human embodiment of handcuffs and collar, using your strength (whatever amount you have) to direct and contain him. This can be intensely erotic for you as well; feeling him strain under you or surrender to your strength is a huge rush.

• Sensory Play and Edging: Dominance isn't only about roughness; it's also about how you administer pleasure. You can keep him under your control by deciding exactly how and when he feels good. For instance, edging (as mentioned, bringing him close to orgasm then stopping) is a form of sensory domination. Explore blindfold sensory play for heightened sensation.

  Similarly, forced pleasure can be a thing: you could use a vibrator on him and make him endure constant stimulation (some subs humorously call this "forced orgasm" or "ruined orgasm" if you go a bit too far – again, know his limits!).

  Another angle is denial: if he loves oral, you might deny it for a session to exert power, or conversely, "force" an act on him that he finds overwhelming (like making him endure a very slow, teasing handjob without release).

  Prostate play can also be a dominant move – if he's open to anal stimulation, you wearing a strap-on and pegging him (or using fingers/a toy on his prostate) is literally penetrating him, which is the ultimate role reversal for many straight couples.

• Role-Playing Scenarios: While not necessary, some couples love incorporating role-play into their domination. This could be anything from the classic strict teacher and naughty student scenario, to boss and employee, military captain and cadet, or even more taboo fantasies. Get inspired with our 100 roleplay ideas and explore femdom roleplay scripts.

  Role-play can help you get into a dominant headspace by giving you a character to play. A warning from experienced kinksters: role-play is advanced-level kink in many ways – it can be challenging to remember lines or fully immerse yourself without giggling if you're new (xtramagazine.com) (xtramagazine.com).

  So don't feel like you must don elaborate role narratives. Plenty of fabulous BDSM scenes involve you being just "you" and him being "him," in a power-exchange context.

  If you do try a scene, it can help to have a prop or costume piece to signal roles (a pair of glasses and ruler for the teacher, a fake badge for the cop, etc.) and to discuss the general script in advance. Role-play done well can unlock deep fantasies (for instance, your guy might secretly want to play "rebellious prisoner interrogated by a sexy warden").

Those are just a few core techniques – think of them as building blocks. You can mix and match. For example: blindfold him (sensory deprivation), tie his hands (bondage), tease him with a feather then spank him (soft meets hard), and make him tell you how grateful he is (verbal domination). Or maybe you simply hold him down in missionary and make him maintain eye contact while you have him bring you to orgasm with slow grinding – also very dominating in a quiet way.

Finally, after utilizing all these sexy physical domination skills, don't forget to take care of your partner when the scene winds down.

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Dominating a Guy

Here are key mistakes to avoid when dominating a man – and how to do it right instead:

• Skipping Communication & Negotiation: A big mistake is not talking about boundaries, limits, and desires beforehand. Do have a candid chat (or several) about what he fantasizes about, any hard limits either of you have, what activities are on the table, and what safeword to use.

  Learn effective strategies with our BDSM communication guide and boundaries guide. This doesn't kill the magic... it builds trust so you can both really let go during play.

  As one Redditor noted, if you don't check in about feelings and limits, you risk harming the relationship: "If she doesn't care enough to check in with you… she doesn't care for your well-being at all." (rareddit.com) Don't be that Domme. Communicate up front and keep communicating as needed.

• Assuming One-Size-Fits-All Kink: Every submissive (and Dominant) is different. A mistake is trying to mimic a porn scenario or another couple's dynamic exactly, without tailoring to your partner.

  For example, not all guys want to be called a "dirty slut" – some might prefer a gentler tone. Not every submissive man loves pain or hardcore BDSM; some primarily enjoy serving or worshipping you. Solution: Pay attention to his reactions and feedback. Maybe he flinches at humiliation but melts when you give praise – adjust accordingly.

• Overlooking the Importance of Safety: A major mistake is pushing physical limits without proper knowledge, e.g. using rope without learning how to do so safely, or trying breath-play (choking) because you saw it in a movie (serious no-no for beginners, it's very dangerous).

  Always keep Jay Wiseman's reality-check in mind: you might get away with a risky move multiple times, but eventually it could go wrong (www.westword.com).

  Instead, stick to the mantra "Safe, Sane, Consensual" (SSC) or "Risk-Aware Consensual Kink" (RACK), frameworks that emphasize safety and informed consent. This means: Safe, take precautions (have safety scissors, use safe words, prep any medical needs like inhalers if asthma, etc.); Sane, don't attempt things in an altered state (being very drunk/high is a bad idea for BDSM, you need clear judgment); and Consensual, only do what you've both consented to, and stop if that changes.

• Not Balancing Cruelty and Care ("All Stick, No Carrot"): They might dish out heavy degradation or physical intensity but give no warmth or encouragement. This can actually backfire. The sub might feel genuinely unloved or even traumatized if there's no payoff of affection.

  Remember the earlier Vixxen insight: subs want to feel used and special (medium.com). If you only ever demean him and never let him feel appreciated, he may start to feel resentment or shame that isn't fun anymore.

  Avoid an imbalance where the scene becomes actual abuse rather than consensual play. The fix: even if your scene persona is very strict, ensure that before and after (and occasionally during), you give him reassurance. It could be a whisper in his ear amid the scene: "You're doing so well, I adore playing with you." Or a big cuddle and "you were amazing" after. Let him know you're angry teacher in the scene, not angry for real.

  Most subs can endure a lot of intense play if they know in their heart that you care about them. In BDSM, cruelty should be calculated and consensual, not actual contempt. Mixing in praise, petting, kisses, or whatever signals apply in your dynamic (even if it's at the very end) will keep the play emotionally healthy.

• Breaking Trust by Ignoring Safewords or Limits: This is a cardinal sin in BDSM. If your partner says the safeword (or has a certain gesture, if gagged), you must stop or slow down as agreed. No exceptions.

  The fastest way to destroy a sub's trust (and a relationship) is to decide, "Oh, I think he can handle more, I'll ignore his 'red'." Likewise, if he expressed a hard limit (say, "don't call me [X insult]" or "no face-slapping") and in the heat of the moment you do it anyway, that's a serious breach. It can leave real psychological wounds.

  Being a Dominant comes with responsibility: you are essentially the pilot of the scene, and your co-pilot has the eject button. You want them to use it if needed.

  Never punish or belittle your man for safewording ("Oh, come on, don't be a wimp"). Instead, thank him for communicating, take a pause, and attend to whatever's needed (maybe he got a cramp, or a memory was triggered, tend to him kindly). As Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy emphasize in their writings, a bottom should feel free to withdraw consent at any time without fear of rejection or ridicule (sobrief.com). Upholding this is what separates consensual BDSM from abuse.

  On the flip side, don't ignore your own limits either. Tops can have limits and safewords too! If you as the Domme ever feel things are off track or you're not comfortable continuing, you can safeword or call an end.

• Neglecting Aftercare: After an intense scene, the come-down is real for both parties. A common mistake for new Dom/mes is to unwrap the ropes, high-five, and then just…go about your business separately, without any aftercare.

  Some might fear that offering tenderness after being "mean" will break the fantasy. In reality, aftercare is crucial to reaffirm safety and affection. Learn proper techniques with our BDSM aftercare guide.

  Your guy might experience an endorphin crash or emotional vulnerability once the high of the scene fades – especially if you did humiliation or inflicted pain. This phenomenon, sometimes called subdrop, can affect both dominants and submissives.

  Plan to soothe and comfort him (and yourself if needed) after you're done. This could mean cuddling, kissing any marks you left, telling him how amazing he was. Maybe fetch water or a snack, or a warm blanket.

• Forgetting it's Meant to be Play: Last but not least, don't lose sight that this is supposed to be fun. Laugh, improvise, and continue.

  A mistake some make is getting so wrapped up in performing "Dominance" perfectly that they stop enjoying it. Your partner likely isn't scoring you; he's just thrilled you're exploring this with him.

  Also, if a scene goes differently than planned (maybe he was curious about spanking but didn't enjoy it as much as he thought), don't view it as a failure. You can be a badass Dominant and crack a joke or smile during play – consensual BDSM is often full of laughter in between the moans and groans.

In summary, dominating a man is an ongoing learning experience. You two are creating a unique rhythm together.

Embrace your dominant confidence step by step, use your words and body with intention, and never forget the foundation of trust that underpins it all.

So go forth and enjoy the journey.